LOve dOes nOt exist in da LOng run...

2006-04-16T10:44:00.000+08:00

...wOw...reLi had been a great whiLe...hur hur hur...actuaLLy nuthin much had been gOing On...juz d nOrmaL i suppOse...nO majOr events in my Lyf dat had happened...bOringnye hidup ku ini~~~~....LOLx

2005-12-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

gOsh..hOw fast hOLidays end...sOOn itz back tO skOOL...the LuxuriOus priviLedge we aLL had been given Once in skOOL wLd nO LOnger exist cOme 3rd Jan...they haf banned smOking everywer ard the skOOL campus...*pOutz*....juz d tOt Of having tO smOke at d bus stOp is Oredi making me cry..

On a tOtaL different nOte aLtOgeder, itz funny hOw wen u r in LOve wif sumOne, u'LL actuaLLy surprise urseLf (Or nOt) wif the amt Of sacrifice dat u'LL be abLe tO end up dOing fOr dat certain persOn...hOwever, shLd tings refuse tO gO hOw YOU wanted it tO, den aLL demOns be unLeashed (in diz case, unLeash d dragOn aLa sisqO)...i'm nOt taLking abt me thO...hur hur hur... itz her...dat psychOtic Lady whO gOes by d name Of racheL....LOLx...datz nOt exactLy her name...but i can't reLi pubLicise it nOw can i?...dat wLd be unethicaL...*rOLLs eyes*....

the chOice Of vOcab dat she used On me is reLi making me stereOtype her as wOt kinda persOn she is...first bitch...nOw mOrOn...pLus a few mOre Others Lyk psychO...fOrgive me fOr being a typicaL individuaL here but when a persOn is cOvered frOm head tO tOe due tO reLigiOus requirements (senang kata pakai tudung La!), she is expected tO be weLL-natured n behave in a certain manner tO uphOLd her wOmanLy virtue since she is aLL cOvered up...wearing hijab means OnLy One Of ur aurat is cOvered...Our mOuth n ears are aLsO part Of aurat...sO wen a Lady is cOvered up in hijab, i (yes, i!!) wLd expect her tO uphOLd her manners in taLking as dat tOO wLd be cOnsidered as aurat aLOngside wif her wearing Of dat hijab...it gOes hand in hand...in d first pLace, being weLL-mannered shLd Oredi be instiLLed within us...but i suppOse dat tOO, is sOmethg hard fOr her tO dO...n yes, i am being very judgementaL here...i apOLOgise tO aLL dOz Ladies whO wear a hijab...regardLess Of whether a Lady wears hijab Or nOt, she is Oredi expected tO behave n taLk in a certain manner but Of cOz is muchLy emphasized upOn wen she is wearing One...kan kan kan

One way Or the Other, itz OnLy human tO actuaLLy haf dark tOts Of sumOne dat we dun Lyk Or be judgementaL tOwards them...the difference between us individuaLs is dat u can chOOse tO put On a facade n neva Let Others knOw ur true bad tOts n feeLings (eg: the kinda names dat u'Ld Love tO caLL dem Or juz pLain fOuL vOcab tO be used On dem) tOwards dat individuaL juz sO u wLdn't be perceived as a bad persOn n thus be hypocriticaL abt it...Or u can chOOse tO Let peOpLe knOw wOt kinda persOn u reLi are inside...if u r gOOd inside, then aLL be weLL...if u aren't...den racheL is wOt u be wLd becOme...whO is diz racheL n wOt has she dOne? ....nah...i'm nOt Lyk her...sO i wun gO ard bitching much abt her...i mean i Oredi started a LiL...but i wun gO intO d detaiLs here....sO caLL me...:)

2005-12-22T14:34:00.000+08:00

...i Lyk diz sLOwer versiOn Of d sOng...d One by bryan adams is a LiL tOO LiveLy.. n sO is d Other One sung aLsO by dj sammy ..diz versiOn hOwever is much mOre rOmantic...haizzz...

been in cOntact wif haLim Once again..it had been a LOng whiLe since i Last kept in tOuch wif him...aLmOst a yr..diz dayz, it dOesn't bring me much excitement tO tOk tO guys...Often wLd aLsO be d case as i wLd duck away frOm any invitatiOns tO gO Out wif dem..but d excitement wLd OnLy b feLt wen i'm Out wif switcheekz...sumtymz i wOnder if i were tO juz Leave, wLd my absence be affecting him in any way...sOOner Or Later, dat wLd be answered...
sOOner Or Later, we bOth wiLL gO Our separate ways...juz a matter Of tym...

2005-12-22T13:58:00.000+08:00

thinking abt Our yOunger years
there was OnLy u and me
we were yOung and wiLd and free
nOw, nOthing can take u away frOm me
we've been dOwn that rOad befOre
but that's Over nOw
u keep me cOming back fOr mOre

cause baby,u're aLL that i want
wen u're Lying here in my arms
i'm finding it hard tO beLieve
we're in heaven
and LOve is aLL that i need
and i fOund it there in your heart
it isn't tOO hard tO see
we're in heaven

Once in ur Life u find sOmeone
whO wiLL turn ur wOrLd arOund
pick u up wen u're feeLing dOwn
nOw, nOthing can change what u mean tO me
there's a LOt that i cOuLd say
but just hOLd me nOw
cause Our LOve wiLL Light the way

i've been waiting fOr sO LOng
fOr sOmething tO arrive
fOr LOve tO cOme aLOng
nOw Our dreams are cOming true
thrOugh the gOOd times
and the bad
i'LL be standing there by u

heaven, dj sammy

2005-12-19T16:09:00.000+08:00

...finaLLy i'm Oredi 25...but wOt a drag..cOZ nOw, as many haf wished me, i'm Oredi 1/4 Of a century...haha... but again itz juz a nO.. wOt matters mOst is hOw One feeLs inside...ryt...keep On pacifying myseLf dat way...nOnetheLess, my berfday was ceLebrated wif my bestest- ima and naz...it had been sO LOng since d 3 Of us actuaLLy went Out tOgeder...haha...16th dec...i feLt sO princess-y!!!...mcm bapak aku cap duit...ahakz... Oh hOw naz n ima pampered me...fOr Once...wOt dey've Owez said abt me was true!!..i was indeed a brat fOr dat day!! but hey...itz nOt Lyk everyday i get tO shOp Like a shOppahOLic...i may be pampered...but i'm nOt spOiLt... i dun Own many LuxuriOus stuffs...n dOz dat i dO, are very much appreciated...bersyukur wif wOt u haf....wOrk hard fOr dOz u dun..

anyhOwz, sat was spent wif switcheekz...even thO d mOment he arrived, his mOOd wasn't wOt i had anticipated, he made it up fOr it afterwards... again...anOther day Of shOpping...but nOt fOr me.. instead...HIM! n it was suppOsed tO be my berfday (weLL technicaLLy it stiLL was my berfday!..my berfday is 30 days LOng!)...HAH! bOught his hp...n went tO haf dinner at swensenz...hur hur hur... i LOve berfdays...*gLOats*....his shOpping din stOp just der thO...next hunt was fOr his sOccer cOurt shOes...unfOrtunateLy fOr him...aLL Of dOz shOes dat he wanted were Out Of stOck..weLL at Least fOr his size...a pity...hur hur hur...

sun was d mOst unexpected..he had swimming in mind...but swimming wasn't wOt we ended up dOing.....hmm... after meeting up at bedOk at 4pm...we decided tO take d bus...i din knOw wer we were gOing fOr HIS swim...sO i suggested we take bus nO 31 Or prOLLy d train tO get tO east cOast...but nOOO...he wLdn't want tO...cOz datz nOt wer he had intended On gOing...sO we tOOk bus nO 30... n suddenLy we were On d way tO sentOsa...sentOsa!!!... pukuL brapa nak sampai!...pukuL brapa nak swim!!...pukuL brapa nak BALIK!!!!.....hahaha...d weather was pLaying tricks On us...it was dark n cLOudy...rained a LiL whiLe we were in d bus...sO he suggested we bOard Off at bOOn Lay int n take anOther bus tO queensway shOpping centre instead...n sO dat was d back-up pLan... Or sO we tOt... hOwever, diz 2 dufus did take anOther bus frOm bOOn Lay but feLL asLeep in d bus n ended up aLL d way in bukit merah bus terminaL...*pOutz*...sO again...pLan nO werk....next pLan up....gO eat at a nearby fOOd market at bukit merah...Ok!!... but d pLace dat switcheekz used tO (nOtice dat itz USED TO!) frequent was quite a distance away...n sO we waLked...n we waLked...n upOn reaching...:) the pLace was under renOvatiOn... by then it was Oredi 8pm...Oh weLL...anOther wise pLan dOwn d drain...n it didn't even rain heaviLy!!!!...cLdn't find any trains nearby, we tOOk 197 aLL d way tO bedOk n ended up having a Late dinner at the interchange...ryt wer we had started frOm the very beginning!...sO sunday was aLL abt bus rides...

hOw interesting!

2005-12-14T11:25:00.000+08:00

...certain stains can't be remOved at Once..nO matter after hOw many washings, they're stiLL der..fader...but stiLL der..hOweva sumtymz the stains dO disappear eventuaLLy..but Over tym...Over a LOng periOd Of tym... Lyk stains, certain remarks can't be taken back...Once deLivered, be it bad Or gOOd, wiLL haf cOnsequences tO d One perceiving it... it happens aLL d tym...datz y we caLL it Lyf...sumtymz we Let Our emOtiOns take charge rather than Our brain..after which sumtymz we Let the phrase tO err is human pacify us...mOst Of the tymz wen we used Our emOtiOns instead Of Our brain, Otherz wLd simpLy say y cLdn't u haf used ur brain?.... n wen fOr the tymz wen we did use Our gOd-gifted brains instead Of the fOrmer..the repLied we get wLd sumtymz be hOw cLd u be sO heartLess n emOtiOnLess?...remarks made nO matter hOw insignificant it might seem...dO haf a sLight impact... after aLL d drama abt dat previOus entry made by her, she did apOLOgise cOz she was emOtiOnaL wen passing such remarks...but then ...remarks had been deLivered... damage has been dOne...sLight remark made...big damage dOne...fOrgive n fOrget...datz wOt dey say...yup...datz wOt dey say... cOz afteraLL... tO err is human...and i....i am OnLy human...n my err is nOt tO be abLe tO fOrgive n fOrget...

LOve dOes nOt exist in da LOng run...

2005-12-07T15:45:00.000+08:00

whO decides wOt is a nOrm n wOt isn't...? is it becOz generatiOns b4 them have set a certain mindset tO wOt is apprOved n wOt isn't? wen sumthg which passes way beyOnd their nOrmaL acceptance, whO gets tO decide Or judge wOt is ryt Or wrOng....Or hOw it shLd be dOne...

being myseLf, sumOne whOm mOst in d society tink i dOn't deserve tO get wOt i want...juz becOz Of my physicaL OutLOOk...i sumtymz wOnder if it is instiLLed within us tO be superficiaL abt hOw we sumtymz LOOk at tings... fOr exampLe, as a mOther, One wLd sympathize seeing a disabLed gaL...she wLd passes Off cOmments dat wLd put herseLf On d pedestaL by Otherz...dat wLd make her sumOne fiLLed wif empathy n sympathy...but if One day her sOn were tO cOme tO her n teLL her Of his intentiOns tO marry d same disabLed gaL, wLd she present d same kinda empathy tOwards d situatiOn? i feLt dat wif a fOrmer bf's mum...it wasn't d best feeLing at aLL...

shaLLOw as it seems, itz d truth...d nOrm in Our society... i wLdn't say dat everyOne wLd cOnfine demseLves tO diz setz Of standards set by Our fOrefathers On wOt is sociaLLy ryt n wOt is stigmatised...but very sO Often we find OurseLves bitching abt Other peOpLe cOz tings dat aren't the nOrm is being dOne by them...

i was Out wif switcheekz juz the Other tym..we went tO simpang cOz i was hungry fOr prata... whiLe waiting fOr d bus On Our way hOme, an eLderLy waLked pass us n den made a U-turn tO waLk pass us again...diz tym i cLd see dat her eyes were fiLLed wif unspOken anger...i had a LiL rOugh idea Of whO she was...but didn't pay much attentiOn tO her... next day, whiLe surfing the net n being d inquisitive me, i went tO d eLderLy's daughter's bLog...true enuff there was a pOrtiOn dedicated tO me (indirectLy)... after describing hOw i LOOked Lyk, itz mentiOned abt her mOther's disapprOvaL Of my presence wif switcheekz and hence dat LOOk dat was given tO me.. the remark dat disturbed me the mOst was dat made by her mum "...is he bLind..?" ... he can dO better...

an eLderLy whO chOse tO deLiver such cOmments made me reaLise it is afteraLL d mindset in diz society dat peOpLe whO Lack nOrmaL physicaL appearance is nOt wOrth Of achieving happiness...becOz cOmpared tO her daughter, i din even cOme cLOse.. but whO was she tO judge dat i dun deserve such priviLedges Of spending tym wif him...is it becOz she had hOped he wLd be d perfect match fOr her daughter...it saddens me becOz whiLe defending her Own daughter's happiness, she pOtrayed herseLf to b superficiaL n shaLLOw..is it a nOrm in diz sOciety to pass judgement, dat peOpLe whO Lack abiLities Of any sOrt Or whO dOn't haf much physicaL attributes dat wLd measure up tO a nOrmaL-LOOking individuaL, dOn't deserve happiness Or satisfactiOn Of any kind? is it a nOrm dat peOpLe Lyk me tO juz sit at hOme n neva tO cOme Out cOz i wLd be a sOre tO the eyes Of nOrmaL-LOOking peOpLe?

karma... juz a harmLess wOrd...but wif a great impact Once hit upOn wif..

2005-12-05T13:54:00.000+08:00

and i'd give up fOrever tO tOuch yOu
cuz i knOw that yOu feeL me sOmehOw
yOu're the cLOsest tO heaven that i'LL ever be
and i dOn't want tO gO hOme right nOw

and aLL i can taste is this mOment
and aLL i can breathe is yOur Life
cuz sOOner Or Later it's Over
i just dOn't want tO miss yOu tOnight

and i dOn't want the wOrLd tO see me
cuz i dOn't think that they'd understand
when everything's made tO be brOken
i just want yOu tO knOw whO I am

and yOu can't fight the tears that ain't cOming
Or the mOment Of truth in yOur Lies
when everything feeLs Like the mOvies
yeah, yOu'd bLeed just tO knOw yOu're aLive

i just want yOu tO knOw whO i am
i just want yOu tO knOw whO i am
i just want yOu tO knOw whO i am

-iris, gOO gOO dOLLs

LOve dOes nOt exist in da LOng run...

2005-12-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

erm...hi???....ahakz....a reLi LOng hiatus!!!! Ok bye!

2005-06-16T15:24:00.000+08:00

Aku junjung petuamu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu belayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita
Akhirnya harus bahagia

Cinta .. Biar saja ada
Yang jadi biar saja terjadi
Bagaimanapun hidup
Memang hanya cerita
Cerita tentang meninggalkan dengan ditinggalkan
Cinta.....

2005-06-14T16:48:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: jesLina hashim
feeLn: restLess in my heart

itz been a great whiLe...sO many things have happened...sO LiL tO teLL...grandma passed away after 14 days being warded in the hOspitaL...i spent 12 nytz sLeeping On d make-dO bed frOm d sOfa at d LOunge Of the cgh icu....it was a tOugh 3 weeks...back tO back after heikeL's (my neighbOur) granma passed away...den it was mine.. thO i knew dat spending 12 sLeepLess nytz der wLd neva redeem mOst Of my wrOngdoings tOwards her, i juz hOpe dat at Least sumway, she knew we were...i was...der fOr her tiLL her demise...if OnLy we knew Of hOw much they had abused her...i'm sure she wLdn't haf been any much LOnger being in dat situatiOn...but i'm gLad dat she had been in Our care fOr at Least 8 mths b4 she passed away...

sumhOw as we aLways put it, in every mishap Or sad situatiOn, der wLd Owez be sumthg gd Out Of it... my aunts frOm my maternaL side came dOwn tO pay their respects after aLmOst 3 yrs Of spending their tym away frOm having any reLatiOn ties wif my mum...it was emOtiOnaL..sOmbre...but sumhOw happy...

switcheekz has gOne Of fOr umrah...2 weeks at Least..i juz wish him aLL d best in dOing his umrah...hOpefuLLy it'LL be accepted by Allah...insya'Allah... i hOwever did mentiOn it tO him dat hOpefuLLy wen he cOmes back. he wLd be a better persOn...tO himseLf...tO his gf...tO everyOne eLse...even if it means dat by being a better bf, he wLd haf tO say gdbye tO aLOt Of peepz...dat wLd ObviOusLy incLude me...i am ready fOr dat tO happen.. but everytym i tried tO distance myseLf myseLf frOm him, eventuaLLy i'LL cOme back...i hOpe diz tym wen he cOmes back, he wiLL be a better haLf tO her...insya'Allah... mebbe itz tym tO spend sOme tym aLOne again...afteraLL...dat shLd be my fOrte....

2005-04-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: cLick cLick cLick...keybOard...hur hur hur
feeLn: sick!!!!

i hate fLu...dun u guys?...:( i've been tryn tO keep up wif my running nOse...exhausting...Ok..super Lame...heheh... been a reLi LOng whiLe since i Last pOsted anythg in here...:P reasOns r due tO da fact dat i'm bz wif Luqman...my newphew dat is...pLus derz nuthn much tO bLOg On my bOring everyday Lyf....unLyk winda...even thO she Leads da same kinda duLL Lyf, she stiLL cLd make her pOst sOmewOt interesting fOr her readers...*winkz*....

since i'm super bOred n Luqman is sLeeping sOundLy, i decided tO drOp by n update my bLOg...weLL...nuthn much tO actuaLLy...hehehe... past weeks haf been spend (spent?) wif bijik n him...same OLd rOutine...itz aLways simpang nOwadays...dun ask y...i Lack da drive Of gOing anywer eLse eg. tOwn Or wersOever....OnLy juz a cOupLe Of days agO da furtherst i went near tOwn was bugis...n datz OnLy fOr dinner wif jik...

itz been sO LOng since da gaLs meet up fOr anythg...by 'da gaLs' i meant Lin hery jik n me....each One Of dem r sO very much bz wif der Own stuffs...Lin wif exams...heryz stiLL in mOurning periOd Of her dad's death....dat Leaves me wif jik 24/7....ahakz...i'm nOt cOmpLaining much at aLL...

sO datz aLL...nuthn much tO teLL...tOLd u sO!...dOne...bye!

2005-03-27T17:15:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: thunder...
feeLn: bLOated...

hey hey hey....heheeh..anyOne missed me?...i knOw...i hafn't been bLOgging LateLy....OnLy cOz i've hafnt had da drive tO...ahakz...:P... n tOday...i'm bLOgging aLL da way frOm kL...ahakz...been here since thurs...suppOsed tO be On da way hOme nOw...but itz raining rather heaviLy...sO dad's kinda wOrried abt driving in thundering rain after wOt had happened Last week (which i'LL eLabOrate in my next entry!)....

sO yea...i'm gaining weight Lyk nObOdy's business...LOve Lyf is Lyk nOn existent...ahahaha....i'm Lyk sharing him wif sO many Other gaLs... which Of cOz i'm used tO Oredi...derz his gf whO is in da dark Of everythg datz gOing On...derz rai whO is tOtaLLy Obscessed wif him...derz me whO is Of cOz nOnchaLant Of everythg dat hez dOing behind my back...we r afteraLL juz frenz...at Least datz wOt i tOLd him tym n again n he dOesn't seem tO be tOO happy abt it...hahaha...a bf is neva meant tO be shared...:P being da seLfish me...i hate sharing...sO yea...he's juz a fren...hahaha...but making Out has been damn great...LOLx...i'm such a LOyaL 'fren'...at Least i dun gO ard dating Other guys whiLe i'm dating him...hur hur hur...wOteva...

sO yea...i gtg nOw...gOing hOme tO sg nOw...i'LL bLOg again wen i'm hOme hOme...hahaha....tiLL den my feLLOw bLOggerz....muackz!

i miss my switcheekz!!!!!!!!!

2005-02-21T14:43:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: nuthn...
feeLn: very sick...headache...

sO 2 cOnsecutive days Of waking up wif majOr hangOvers din dO any gd fOr me...instead made me mOre grumpy n Less tOLerant Of anyOne's Lame jOkes... visiting cheeky mOnkeys had been sO much fun even thO it was juz ima n myseLf.... but the nyt wLd haf been much better if OnLy mus hadn't spOiL it...despite the prOmise tO jOin us at cheeky mOnkeys, he had made his way tO chijmes wif his sO-caLLed cuzzies... by the end Of da nyt, everythg wrOng happened btwn us Owez ended wif me gettn aLL da bLame...sitting by the big drain after everythg was Over, puking n crying din reLi sOund Lyk a great nyt afteraLL.....jas (jik's fren) had entertained me fOr 5 secOnds wif his cute accent whiLe tryn tO cOnverse in engLish...fOr 2 cOnsecutive nytz, he saw me bOOzed Out n crying....itz was reLi embarrassing since he mentiOned dat hOw cOme after everytym i had sO much fun, i'LL end up crying....hahaha....Oh weLL...i'm a sad sOuL...Or at Least i tOt...

anywayz....a mat taperred actuaLy befriended me On thurs... whiLe ima, bijik n i were sitting at cOffee bean, diz guy named sha frOm da next tabLe came up tO us n said he wanted tO be my fren...keke.. it was ObviOus dat he was reLi sO much yOunger den i am...but then i tOt...y nOt...since i've Owez been Lyk a magnet n attracting aLL yOunger guys aLL diz whiLe..y nOt....mus wasn't tOO happy wen i met up sha On sunday...sOmetymz...i juz wOnder...wOt dOes mus want frOm me...wif a stern vOice Over da fOne, he cLaimed dat he needs tO 'tOk' tO abt wOt i've been up tO fOr the Last 2 nytz...*rOLLs eyes*... wOtever...

2005-02-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

i've had a gOOd cry On my way hOme...i've gOt sOme issues tO settLe within myseLf..yet der dun seem tO be anyOne whOm i can tOk tO...itz juz me...i dun tOk much tO peOpLe abt exactLy hOw i feeL... i hardLy Let dem knOw abt wOtz in my heart... i've sO much anger in me dat i dun knOw hOw eLse i shLd Let it Out... i'm angry at Allah which i knOw is nOt hOw i'm suppOsed tO feeL... i'm angry at Him fOr making me da way i am...first he bLessed me by being a perfect chiLd...den tOOk it aLL away wen i was 9...y must He dO dat....i'm angry at my parents fOr being tOO OverLy-prOtective Of me...fOr cOmparing me wif my Other sibLings whO r One way Or the Other, settLed dOwn in Lyf... i'm angry wif my sibLings fOr being the way they r... settLed dOwn...financiaLLy... academicaLLy.... i'm angry at my frenz whO r nOt ard tO see me cry... itz Owez me whO had tO Lend a Listening ear...but when i need dem da mOst, they weren't der...i'm angry at circumstances becOz it tOOk my frenz away frOm me...becOz Of circumstances, they were nOt abLed tO Lend me der shOuLders...i'm angry at mus fOr making me feeL useLess n nOt wOrth Of anythg.. but mOst Of aLL, i'm juz angry at myseLf ....i'm angry dat i bLame gOd fOr everythg dat has happened tO me fOr da Last 16 yrs Of my Lyf... i'm angry wif myseLf fOr nOt appreciating my parents' effOrt in tryn tO make me Lead a gOOd n decent Lyf... i'm angry at myseLf fOr nOt werkn hard enuff tO be da best dat i can be but instead bLame it On my sibLings' successes...i'm angry at myseLf fOr nOt reaching Out tO my frenz whOLe heartedLy wen i need tO cry... i'm angry fOr bLaming circumstances wen i shLd knOw dat itz Lame tO dO sO...i'm angry at myseLf fOr being sO vuLnerabLe n Let mus take everythg away... i Let him... n i'm angry at myseLf fOr dat...i Owez say tO Others dat wOtever situatiOns dat we r in, derz Owez 2 chOices.. n i'm angry at myseLf fOr dat chOice dat i made which Lead me tO feeL da way i am nOw...

2005-02-15T15:29:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: sOund Of emptiness
feeLn: hurtn...

itz tym tO say gdbye tO him...it hurtz..yea... hOpefuLLy i'LL find sumOne whO vaLues me mOre den dat...if der is...if i'm even wOrth Of anythg anymOre...

2005-02-10T13:46:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: heaven -warrant
feeLn: *burp*....urgh...bLOated

sO...hOw has everybOdy been dOing?...ahakz...such a LOng hOLiday.. i'm dead beat frOm dOing nuthn...haha... bijik sLacked again at my brO's pLace On da eve Of chinese new yr... she came at 4...feeLn tipsy... was suppOsed tO gO wif her tO cheeky mOnkeys... but heLL... i dun wanna start.... sO i said nO...n i'm prOud Of dat...ahakz...i Oredi started drinking...nO reasOn y i shLd start sumthg eLse which in da end...i might nOt be abLe tO handLe...

hez been werkn 12 hrs shift at the cafe... itz been pretty tiring juz Listening tO his vOice wen hez either at werk Or On da way hOme... Let aLOne hOw he himseLf feeLs dOing dat kinda shift... anyhOws... his gf Left fOr kL fOr the chinese new yr hOLidays... Lyk it even mattered wen he tOLd me... i din ask in da first pLace... beats me y he had tO even bOthered teLLn...*pOutz*... wOteva... i'm missing him Lyk crazy...

anywayz, resuLts wiLL b Out sOOn... juz ard da cOrner...end Of diz mth tO be exact... n i'm anticipating dat itz nOt gOnna be gd... ahahha...LateLy, i've been bad at keeping secrets... i mean.. my Own secrets... my sis fOund Out dat i've been bOOzing...fagging... after sO very LOng...sO erm yea...wOnder wen she'LL find Out dat One BIG secret dat i'm hiding...LOLx... hOpefuLLy neva... anywayz, itz my Life... even thO i knOw dOing these things r wrOng i stiLL hOpe she'L juz respect my decisiOns tO y i chOse tO be the way i am... sO far, shez been great...n i'm thankfuL fOr dat... shez neither teLLn On me nOr is she encOuraging my wrOngfuL acts... she juz said dat mebbe... i'm angry at gOd...Or dat i've sOme issues tO settLe within my Own seLf... *pOutz*

bimbO dearestest: niwayz... thanx fOr da advice OnLine juz nOw.. sOri i din repLy... was tOking tO him... but ting is... i reLi dO appreciate da advice...n yea...it did knOck sumthg Outta me juz reading ur msgs.... :) *hugz*

2005-02-07T18:58:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: dia -fauziah Latiff
feeLn: extremeLy miserabLe...

sO...i've yet tO see him wif his bOtak head...shaved his head.. was suppOsed tO meet him On sun..but he had tO werk... shit happens ya.. itz been a LOng 1 week since i Last saw him... at One pOint, it aLmOst feLt unbearabLe juz missing him... ahaha... hOw weird... but i refrained myseLf frOm tinking tOO much Of him by juz tinking mOre Of his gf... saw her pics...she LOOked sO different frOm the Last tym i saw her...which was Of cOz during Our sec yrs... it was hiLariOus juz tinking abt back in dOz dayz, i've neva imagined dat we bOth wLd be in such a pOsitiOn...at Least i'm da OnLy One whO is aware Of da whOLe situatiOn.. i've gained weight... is dat sumthg dat i shLd be panicking abt?... i certainLy hOpe nOt..insya'Allah...

itz funny wen i tink Of it...i've dOne aLL diz sins...yet itz tO HIM dat i asked fOr heLp...i dunnO wOt tO tink anymOre...

...i feLL tOO deep wen i shLd haf nOt...
..i feLL asLeep wif u in tOts...

2005-02-03T08:44:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: big big BIG LOrry driving intO da carpark...
feeLn: *yawnz*...sLeepy...

sO...Last few days had been aLL abt gd fOOd n great bOOze...bijik n i drOwned Our sOrrOws in wOt i wLd use tO caLL 'cOward's way Of escaping reaLity'....mus gOt tO knw abt my bOOze induLgence n had Lectured me by bringing in reLigiOn...wOt an irOny! hah! sOmetimes it reLi dOes crack me up tO see peOpLe whO r tryn tOO hard tO be perfect...wen dey ObviOusLy aren't... sumhOw Or rather, he sensed dat sarcasm in my vOice wen i reminded him Of da Other tings dat wLdn't be at aLL apprOved by isLam...da did shut him up reaL weLL..*preens*...

sO..LateLy..Life at my brO's pLace here has been pretty reLaxed...n i'm feeLn pretty guiLty abt taking fuLL advantage Of the curfews set (Or nOt) by my brO...which is Like nOne tO begin wif.. bijik had been crashing Over fOr da nyt since da Last 3 days.. 2 gaLs...feeLn very tipsy...depressed...bOth Lying On da bed mumbLing abt hOw Lyf sux n den feLL asLeep hearing each Other's nOnsensicaL chatterings...it feLt gd..reaL gd...

anyhOws...i had my advance theOry dOne On tues..hOpefuLLy diz tym rOund, i'LL passed...i reLi dun get it...wOtz wif me n retaking tests n examinatiOns repeatedLy fOr the Last few yrs...haf i turned tO be such pOtatOhead? Oh weLL...i'LL juz keep my fingers crOssed fOr the resuLts...diz mth is fuLL Of resuLts..ahahha...i can hardLy keep up tO which wiLL cOme first... hOw exciting da wait is prOving tO be...

2005-01-30T11:44:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: ku intai cinta dLm rahsia -jesLina hashim
feeLn: dOwn tO da grOund..

yesterday was Ok...met up wif bijik in my baju kurung...gOt On her vespa...hahaha... aLl da tym i was tryn tO hOLd dOwn my skirt sO dat it wun fLy away against da wind...

met him at 6.30pm...he was in green...it was reLi Lucky dat i decided tO wear my bLue kurung instead Of da same green cOLOur as his...niwayz...a reuniOn wif sum Of da tkgian gaLs der was reLi wOnderfuL... brOught back memOries... tOO bad phOtOs r nOt up yet... he was in a rush... restLess...sO was i... i was restLess cOz i wanted tO knOw wOtz gOing On...Lyk r we cOOL...Or r we nOt... was it becOz he was rushing fOr tym dat we din exactLy gOt dOwn tO tOk...Or was it becOz he was avOiding it da whOLe tym... One tym it feLt dat he was reLi avOiding me...anOther it feLt Ok... stOLe few kisses frOm me.. aaaah... Lyfs weird...sO r sticky situatiOns... msgs seem tO be reduced tremendOusLy....i'm gettn paranOid... but insya'Allah...i'm tryn tO get Over him... :) Letz juz wait fOr a mth frOm nOw...n see if everythgz gOnna be a-Ok...the wait is definiteLy kiLLing me... LiteraLLy...nO pun intended...

2005-01-29T14:55:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: LOve sOng -tesLa
feeLn: fuLL...*burp*

sO yea...he caLLed.. am suppOsed tO fOLLOw him tO a fren's engagement party... i hOpe he's nOt askn me aLOng tOday OnLy juz cOz he had mentiOned Of diz engagement thingy b4...he had asked me aLOng b4 cOz diz fren Of his was/is OsO a fren Of mine...hmmm.. i had actuaLLy wanted tO sit dOwn n tOk... but b4 i cLd even ask him anythg, he had mentiOned it dat he has tO get tO werk earLy tOday... hmph!... sO mebbe i'LL try tO grab him fOr a chat after the party thingy...

sO yea... nOw i'm at my Own pLace..itz been Lyk a week since i Last sLept On my Own bed... feLt gd...nearLy burst Out cryn after seeing my mum's face Last nyt... Oh gOsh...guiLt...reLi hate having diz feeLn...

2005-01-28T13:27:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: keybOard gOes cLick...cLick...
feeLn: hOpeLess...fOrsakened

y hasn't he caLLed?...i'm giving him benefit Of da dOubt dat itz fri...sOLat...but i'm gOing crazy...reLi am...scared...crazy...paranOid...everythg... hOpefuLLy hez nOt Lyk dat... nOt wen i needed him mOst...after everythgz settLed...he can dun caLL me Or wOteva...but nOt untiL everthgz Over...if he feLt guiLty abt cheating On her, shLdn't haf dOne it in da first pLace...but shit happened...n i'm panic-strickened nOw...ya Allah..dun Let my wOrst nightmare cOmes true...

2005-01-20T19:14:00.000+08:00

...hmm... peningnya kepaLaku... i tink i've gOt tO stOp tOking tO mus everyday...ahahha... itz been 1 whOLe week Of nOn stOp daiLy fOne caLLs...i'm gettn addicted tO him...*pOutz* ...diz sux... wen hez gOing back tO her, i'LL be erm...ditched...yea..ditched..cOrrect usage... crap...

ps: MusCyc...hehehe...mana ader bLey tahan...kO tu yg bLey tahan..matair pOwer...suruh carikkan aku takmO.. kan aku dah terLOp2 sama matair Org Lain!..hahaha

2005-01-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: my head pOunding...
feeLn: LOusy...

sO...met up wif mus again juz nOw.. picked me up frOm my bro's pLace.. sat near my bro's pLace...

chat a LiL...
smOOch a LiL...
he sLept aLOt..
i pLayed wif his cheeks aLiL....
caressed his ears a LiL...
kissed his cheeks aLOt..
Lyking him tOO much nOt a LiL...
reLi gOnna hurt aLOt...

sO...nOw i'm having swOLLen Lips...feeLn shitty...as usuaL..cOz sOOn it'LL end...wOtz new...reLi LOOked Lyk we were a cOupLe whO were sO intO each Other...sO many hugs...sO LiL vaLue...at Least tO him.....whiLe he haiLed a cab tO take him tO werk which he was Late fOr due tO us unabLe tO unLOck Our Lips...i guez i'LL enjOy diz few mOments wen he makes me feeL Lyk i'm sumOne speciaL...hOLding hands....kissing each Others cheeks... LOOk intO each Others eyes.... untiL itz tym tO say gdbye, i'LL juz enjOy each mOment... Lyk dan tOLd me b4.. the best part Of LOving/Lyking sumOne is wen u haf tO mOve On w/O dem... dats wen the emOtiOns start OverpOwering ur head...

sOOn...

2005-01-17T09:33:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: pitter patter rain drOps Outside my windOw
feeLn: fOrsakened...

itz raining...n i'm starting my first day as Luqman's nanny... my nephew... he's on my Lap sLeepin juz as i'm typing diz entry... hmmm.... hery's dad stiLL dOesn't LOOk tOO gOOd....juz On sat we visited him...in icu...his whOLe famiLy was der...reLatives... the waiting area was packed...dOcs tOt he wLdn't Last da nyt...at 1am dey Let his reLatives see him One Last tym wif the tOt dat dat might be his Last nyt...however tiLL nOw his cOnditiOn is stiLL as criticaL but he Lasted da weekend...

i din gO tO da match...wanted tO badLy thO... but i tOt dat in reLatiOn to heryz dad's cOnditiOn On sat, i decided tO fOrgO it since i din haf da mOOd tO ceLebrate n aLL...we wanted tO visit him...but at the 13th hr, dey decided against it cOz we wanted tO gif da famiLy sOme privacy... sO i din meet up wif bijik n hasLin... by dat tym my bimbO had Oredi sOLd my tix tO her frenz...but it was aLL gOOd... cOz mus(da arab dude) had asked me tO watch him pLay sOccer instead...sO instead Of watching the LiOns at kaLLang... i gOt tO watch da ex rebeLs Of tampines rOvers pLay at bradeLL... jOined his crazy weird frenz at Lau pa sat... had my most disgusting crispy nOOdLe which i OnLy managed tO finish da fishbaLLs n prawns n aLL dat was Left was da reLi hatd thick crispy nOOdLes....mus finished up my nOOdLes...thank gOd...n sO after saying Our gdbye tO his frenz, we juz strOLLed Our way frOm Lau pa sat tO da espLanade wer he had his induLgence Of chOcOLates bOught frOm "chOcz"....sat at da rOOftOp n enjOyed da chOcs...enjOyed da view...enjOyed da musique...enjOyed da cOmpany... but sumhOw Or rather...at dat very mOment.. i was reminded Of dem....sOLi...cOz mus was aLiL chubby Lyk he is...zaza cOz we were at the pLace wer i had Last been wif him...ansari cOz he was ansari's buddy... n LastLy maLan... cOz it was da date...16th jan...hmmm... hahaa...hOw weird it was kissing sumOne n be reminded Of diz peepz..but datz aLL der is tO diz frenship... he has a gf... i haf myseLf...riding myseLf intO anOther heartache..yupz... then again...datz aLL i've ever been gd at diz few yrs...

ps winda: i din get tO snag a mat.instead better...i gOt tO snOg an arab duguL...hahaah....

2005-01-15T11:20:00.000+08:00

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find
Peace of mind
Til you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you

People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So goodbye
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart
Maybe I'll be strong enough
I don't know where to start
But I'll never find
Peace of mind
While I listen to my heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart

And people
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you
Like I always do
There's something there
That can't compete with any other

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool

...kissing a fOOL...

2005-01-13T11:55:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: kissing a fOOL -geOrge michaeL
feeLn: wOrried...

sO yesterday mOrning, i was shOcked by the news Of baby's (hery) dad being brOught in tO ttsh's a&e due tO him having a sudden strOke attack... was suppOsed tO accOmpany baby tO ttsh but in da end her brO fetched her instead... i tOt dat since it was a secOnd attack, the degree of its seriOusness wasn't dat high.. bOy was i wrOng... his ryt side was permanentLy paraLysed... n he was in a state Of cOnfusiOn.. if the sweLLing inside his brains dOesn't gO dOwn, den OnLy gOd knOws wOt wLd happen tO him...dOcs wLd Owez gif da wOrst sceneriO... sO i juz hOpe dat everythg wiLL turn Out juz as fine...but at the same tym, i am expecting fOr da wOrst..

niwayz...the first day Of saLe fOr da tiger cup League finaLs went as expected in tamp... the queue was LOng..i din knOw wOt i was queueing up fOr...haahha... weLL datz a Lie... bimbO n i (n Of cOz himbO) wLd be gOing tO watch da match...gOsh.. i dun even haf any ideas wOt the Line-ups r...ahahah... the OnLy Line ups dat i'm famiLiar wif are fandi...maLek awab...nazrin nasir...abbas saad...LOLx.. yea...dat LOng agO since i watched sg fOOtbaLL...sO i've gOt Lyk 3 mOre days tO memOrize n famiLiarize myseLf wif the sg fOOtbaLL pLayers' names n faces b4 diz sunday... i wLd wanna shOut Out fOr their names u knOw..tO shOw dat i knOw...haahhaha...pLus der is nO fagging in da stadium...sO...One can juz imagine hOw i'm gOnna survive...nOt dat its dat hard ryt a day w/O ciggies...

2005-01-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: mungkinkah -anuar zain
feeLn: reLi depressed...

...itz a terribLe shame tO admit dat Once perfect famiLy can nO LOnger be caLLed as such nOw...is it circumstances... Or is it juz pure ignOrance On my part tO tink dat wOt used tO be sO peacefuL n LOving n happy yet wif LiL sibLings' squabbLes here n der, wLd Owez stay da same... sumtymz itz even harder tO sustain a gd reLatiOnship wif Others than it is tO buiLd a new One.. at Least wen buiLding a new yet gOOd reLatiOnship, One wLd nOt haf any bLeak rememberance Of wOt the Other has dOne... whiLe the fOrmer, One wLd Owez be reminded Of wOt the Other had dOne dat had sumhOw changed ur whOLe pOint Of view On Lyf...is diz wOt is meant by the prOcess grOwing up?... itz funny wen u tink dat ur famiLy wLd be cOntented being wif juz One anOther nO matter hOw pOOr we r... nO matter hOw rich we wLd be....n suddenLy u r aLL grOwn up n can tink frOm every perspective dat nOt everythg shLd n wLd remain the same... sOme changes r meant tO be gd....yet Other changes wLd OnLy be a premOnitiOn Of wOt the future hOLds... i wOnder which these changes my famiLy is gOing tru...i dare nOt try tO unfOLd the puzzLe..itz OnLy tO HIM dat i wished fOr unity in diz famiLy...

2005-01-07T14:50:00.000+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK...wOt cLd be mOre wOrse...juz typed a whOLe LOad Of emOtiOns intO a pOst n den itz gOne...went bLank On u...FUCK TODAY!... LOusy freakn LOusy day!

2005-01-03T17:20:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: OnLy tym wiLL teLL -the neLsOn
feeLn: sickened...

here i am...aLL aLOne in my hse...wif the exceptiOn Of my granny n maid...i juz hate having tOO much tym by myseLf...it wLd OnLy mean dat i'LL be tinking tOO much abt everythg... abt Lyf...my Lyf...wOtz ahead Of me... wOtz nOt.. sumtymz wOt meant as a jOke wLd end up as a smack ryt On the face... at dat pOint wen da jOke was being deLivered it feLt nuthn...but wen i sat dOwn n tOt back, i reaLised dat da jOke was nO LOnger a jOke.. at Least tO me.. n suddenLy i understOOd hOw my Lyf was reLi being Lived...a pathetic Lyf i wLd say...nOt OnLy i've wasted Lyk 5 yrs Of my Lyf dOing absOLute nuthn wif nO gOaLs in mind, i've aLsO turned intO sumOne dat i had Once upOn a tym despised...wOnder wer my carefree Lyf had gOne tO... i had turned intO a freak whO has nO mind Of her Own n tOO dependent On sumOne eLse fOr wOteva reasOns n One which is ObviOus is Of cOz emotiOnaL wise...itz reLi gettn tO be a heLLuva emOtiOnaL rOLLer cOster ride...

my sis juz gOt her resuLts stating dat shez a degree hOLder ryt nOw... dat Leaves me as the OnLy gaL in da famiLy w/O any academic achievements dat i can be prOud Of.. 1 ting abt me dat i reLi hate is dat, i want tO achieve da same kinda gOaL... da same kinda reward dat i LOnged tO haf... but i sureLy can't haf it juz miracuLousLy... y can't i wOrk as hard as b4... y haf i adOpted such a Lazy attitude tOwards everythg.. n y is der nO cure fOr da fucking itchyOsis...!!!!

mebbe HE has sumthg in stOre fOr me...but sure enuff wOteva dat HE has pLanned fOr me has tO happen OnLy wen i decide it wiLL...Lyk der sureLy wun be anythg dat i can reap frOm if i hadn't sOw anythg in da first pLace...destiny wiLL OnLy happen wen u decide it wiLL...in da meantym if aLL aLOng u tink dat ur destiny is tO becOme a dOctOr, a Lawyer Or wOteva Legacy u tink dat u might inherit frOm ur ancestOrs, w/O u having tO werk hard fOr it den dat destiny dat u tOt wiLL happen might juz be tOO far away frOm ur grasps...i guez its tym dat my Lyf change fOr da better... ya Allah, pLz guide me tO whichever destinatiOn dat u might haf in stOre fOr me in Lyf...insya'Allah i'LL try my best tO make it happen... it wiLL sureLy take a LOt Of faiLures but i hOpe He wiLL heLp me aLOng dat bumpy rOad n make me a strOnger persOn than i am nOw...insya'Allah...amin...

2004-12-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

wOt a way tO end da yr Of 2004...my day was rudeLy greeted by the screaming dat my grama had been making since the Last few days...trust me...she din stOp...OnLy tym she did was either wen she was eating Or sLeeping...shez beginning tO feeL restLess being in diz hse...dun ask y...we aLL tink shez suffering frOm aLzheimer's disease...she nearLy caused my mum tO haf a heart attack...dad cried cOz she repeatedLy cursed him n raked up his past wen they were very pOOr den...sisters were pretty irritated by aLL da screaming n cursing gOing On..i On the hand was pretty ignOrant Of the whOLe situatiOn...at Least i tried tO haf a rather 'i-cLdnt-gif-a-fuck' attitude.. i was tOO bz tinking Of him...yea...HIM...i shaLL tink Of him untiL he has a gf...in dat prOcess i tink...Oh weLL...

went tO watch meet da fOckers...pretty hOrny mOvie...hehehe... whiLe watching it HE had tO msg me...:) geez...i reLi need tO get a Lyf.. hmmm...n untiL i dO...i'm gOnna end my yr juz tinking Of him...LOLx... yes winda...dat him whO passed me aLL dOz sOngs.....*starts tO beLLy dance*

2004-12-30T12:20:00.000+08:00

:) sO...anywayz...fOr dOz whO haf cLOthings dat dey wLd Lyk tO dOnate tO the victims Of the tsunami waves, u can bring ur dOnated items Lyk bLankets n Other fOrms Of cLOthings, dOwn tO bLk 125 bedOk nOrth rd wer dat wiLL be their cOLLectiOn centre fOr diz dOnatiOns...itz under the mercy reLief OrganisatiOn...n Last day Of their cOLLectiOn fOr diz items wLd prOLLy be On mOn b4 dey wLd be fLOwn Off tO the designated LOcatiOns.. :)

2004-12-30T11:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BERFDAY TO WINDA!!!!!!!!!!
....hehehehe... may u get ur feather bOa dat u wished fOr...ekekke...hOpefuLLy u'LL get ur berfday surprise which u haf been anticipating....ehehhehe...wOnder wOt happens if derz nOne?...*eviL smiLe*...ekkeke...gOsh...i'm sO very mean....but anywayz...hOpefuLLy by me wishing u, it'LL be enuff tO brighten up ur day....!!!! HAPPY 22nd berfday winda... yes...22nd n nOt 18th!!!

2004-12-29T13:32:00.000+08:00

reLi...wOt an ending tO yr 2004...itz reLi disturbing n saddening tO hear n read abt aLL diz... anywayz... if any Of u haf any OLd n extra cLOthings dat u decided tO seLL Off tO karungguni man...pLz hOLd On tO dat tOt first n Lemme knOw if u wanna dOnate dem instead tO the victims Of the recent naturaL disasters in india whO r in dire need Of basic aid...cLOthing is One Of dem.. sO tag me...caLL me (91253840)....emaiL me (babygerl_80@yahoo.com.sg)...wOteva... chOice is urs... wOt we can't heLp financiaLLy...we'LL make it up in Others ya...i'm heLping an aunt tO spread ard da news...

2004-12-29T13:14:00.000+08:00

The number of people killed in the massive earthquake and tidal waves that struck Indian Ocean shorelines at the weekend has passed 56,000, amid warnings the true toll could be far higher.

In Indonesia, the government's disaster relief centre said at least 27,174 were killed after the country took the full force of the huge earthquake and tidal waves that swallowed entire coastal villages.

In Sri Lanka 17,800 people, including at least 70 foreigners, were killed in Sunday's disaster.

The death toll in India crossed 9,000 with many thousands still missing, officials said.

The death toll includes 4,000 in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, close to the epicentre of the Indonesian earthquake that produced the tsunamis, and another 4,500 in the southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu.

More than 1,500 people were killed, among them more than 700 foreign tourists, in southern Thailand, officials said. Officials said they feared that most of around 1,500 people still missing were foreign tourists.

In Myanmar at least 90 people were killed, according to the UN, while in Malaysia 65 people, including many elderly and children, were dead, officials said.

At least 55 people including two British holidaymakers were killed in the tourist paradise of Maldives while another 69 were missing, officials said.

In Bangladesh a father and child were killed after a tourist boat capsized from large waves, local officials said.

Fatalities also occurred on the east coast of Africa where 100 fishermen were declared dead in Somalia, 10 in Tanzania and one in Kenya.

The US Geological Survey said the earthquake west of the Indonesian island of Sumatra measured 9.0 on the Richter scale -- making it the largest quake worldwide in four decades.

Death toll

Indonesia: 27,174

Sri Lanka: 17,800

India: 9,233
Thailand: 1,538
Myanmar: 90
Malaysia: 65
Maldives: 55
Bangladesh: 2

Somalia 100
Tanzania 10
Kenya 1

Total: 56,068

-yahoo news

2004-12-29T12:07:00.000+08:00

It surrounds you
sometimes it's easy to believe
sometimes it hurts more then it seems

now it's over
these are the scars you never show
there was a warning sign, you know

one day your near and then you go

2004-12-29T11:19:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: neva eva -aLL saints
feeLn: tingLy feeLn...ahahaha...i hate diz feeLn...

ahakz...sO anywayz...itz been a very fun first 3 days Of da week...ahakz... weLL nOt much fun...OnLy wen it cOmes tO da part wer mus frOm my pri skOOL (nOt muscyc!) gaf me his nO after i said hi tO him in frenster....heehhe... knOwn him since pri skOOL but we seLdOm tOk n i remembered him pushing me in pri skOOL One day tiLL i bLed n he feLt guiLty abt dat...hahaha... sO we've been tOking On da fOne every nOw n den...been gOOd...itz juz funny cOz we've neva actuaLLy smiLed Or even say hi wen we saw each Other Outside after we Left pri skOOL...kinda weird n crazy dude tO crap ard wif... :)...hahaha...Ok tOO much bLOgging abt him is dangerOus cOz it wiLL OnLy make me smiLe...hhaha... anywayz, he gettn attached sOOn...if gOd permits dat is...if.....LOLx

sO yes...i've been stayn at hOme nOwadays... i'm juz tOO Lazy tO gO Out... dunnO y...prOLLy itz due tO my LOw..very LOw amt Of cash in hand...hmmph... niwayz...i had a dream abt maLan...hahaha...(yes mus...u can Laff aLL u want!!!) it was a pretty sappy One...weLL wOtz new...hahahha... Oh crap... i need the fucking cLOsure Oredi....itz been 2 yrs Oredi... enuf is enuf!! eheehhe

here is a msg fOr fahmy my rabbit(if he stiLL reads anywayz): wer r u????....wer haf u been??? gua tgh rindu ni sama Lu....u fOrgOt aLL abt ur fav sagu Oredi huh???

2004-12-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

sO...itz been awhiLe... a great whiLe... :) been having LOads Of fun... an equaL share Of depressiOn but hey...wOtz new... ahakz...a meet up at parkway On christmas eve had been wOnderfuL.... been tOO LOng since da gaLs had a tea Or cOffee tO catch up On things... amOi came wee bit Later than expected.. bijik n i had an OutrageOus game Of pOOL... nOn stOp Laughter frOm 2 weird gaLs whO tOOk practicaLLy fOrever tO shOOt the Last baLL in which in da end caused unbearabLe i-reLi-need-tO-pee feeLn...the rest headed Out tO have dinner at the marine parade cOffeshOp...amOi gaf me my berfday prezzie n i feLt bad cOz i've yet tO give hers.. ahakz...

ciggiez n me r gettn a LiL tOO inseparabLe..itz reLi scary wen i dun get even tO haf any in a day...hmmm... pretty scary....

my sis bOught the fOne dat i've Owez wanted...Oh weLL...guez anOther mOdeL wLd be juz fine fOr me.. *pOutz* wOteva... in a day, i had 2 setbacks which Of cOz made my day pretty Lame...it was rather ObviOus as my face was painted wif unspOken sadness... my sis n i had wanted tO buy a bed fOr Our rOOm... but we can't haf a dOubLedeck bed cOz mum din apprOve Of it..sO instead...juz a bed...Oh weLL... sO nOw my actiOns speak LOuder than werds tOwards my sis cOz i've nOt been tOking tO her as much since sunday...i'm feeLn pretty guiLty dat she is feeLn guiLty cOz she feLt sumthg was amiss n started apOLOgising fOr it...Oh weLL...i can't pOssibLy envy wOt Others can affOrd ryt?...LOLx...ryt.....

...the happy cOupLes..

...rudy n hery (my baby)..

...jeff n Lin...

...the happy prezzie fOr the happy me!!...

2004-12-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

*pOutz* i'm irritated... y Oh y muz dey cLOse dOwn musique servers in irc... fOr dOz whO has da fOLLOwing mp3s... puhLeeeez teLL me...

1) saigOn kick (LOve is On the way)
2) warrant (cherry pie)
3) damn yankees (high enough)
4) aLice cOOper (pOisOn)
5) heart (aLOne)

datz nOt aLOt ryt.... sO pLz... :) thanx...hehehe

2004-12-17T10:51:00.000+08:00

fOr dOz whO din knOw...diz is MusCyc.....hez haLf gay...haLf un-gay

datz his sO-caLLed gf....he prefers bf...but in the mean tym..she'LL dO

2004-12-16T23:41:00.000+08:00

the ending Of the Oc made me cry again...as if i hafnt cried hard enuff yesterday...sO yea...happy birthday tO me...i had severaL sms frOm weLL wishers dat i neva knew existed... fOr One macdOnaLds (yea..the fast fOOd cOmpany) wished me earLy diz mOrning...sO did azmi... n rudy (heryz bf)

berfdayz reLi suck...every yr i'Ld feeL shitty...every yr w/O faiL except fOr dat yr... dat yr fOr a shOrt whiLe i feLt happy...but dat yr i had a tight sLap frOm my dad.. yea... On my berfday dat yr...

anywayz, i went Out wif bimbO dearest fOr awhiLe... but OnLy tO bOOk my ftt... again..yea... after which she n i went Our separate ways...sO i figured... y nOt...LOLx... sO i went tO tamp maLL... n watched Ocean tweLve by myseLf... Ok...my first tym watching a mOvie On my Own ( i knw mOst had dOne diz b4 n tink itz nuthn)....sO i was aLOne in dat rOw Of 4 seats... anOther dude..anOther sOLO sat beside me... peepz muz haf tOt we knew each Other since der were OnLy 2 Of us sitting in dat rOw...sOOn anOther cOupLe jOined us...as i was watching the traiLers Of sOme Other mOvies tO hit the screens sOOn, 2 dufus came up tO me... in da dark dat is, n cLaimed dat i had their seats...i was wif my pOpcOrn n it was reLi dark... pLus i fOrgOt wer i put my mOvie stub...n sO i franticaLLy mumbLed tO myseLf abt hOw panicky i was...n dOz 2 minah tudungs ( the dufus) was Lyk gOing On n On n said "itz Ok...u can haf Our seats...juz teLL us wer u sit.." n i was Lyk tinking...i'm nOt wif him... sO if i gOt the wrOng seat...sO did he den!!... but hey...i stiLL had tO shOw my stub n since i've gOt 2 pOckets in my jeans n OnLy 1 hand free, i handed the pOpcOrn tO her n said " can u hOLd diz fOr me?!" sO wif bOth hands in each Of my pOckets , i finaLLy retrieved it... aLL 3 cOmpared stubs...yea...we had the same seat number...M13...

her: eh...but urs is in cinema 6...mine in 5
me: yup...i knOw... but thing is... i'm in da ryt cinema... r u?!

hahaha...dufus made me drOp my 50cents in da dark...made me LOOk Lyk i was One Of dOz mOrOns whO wLd sit On Others' seats.. interrupted me whiLe eating my aLL sweet my pOpcOrns ...OnLy cOz dey were in da wrOng cinema... *rOLLs eyes*.... niwayz... da mOvie was farny..much funnier den the previOus One...sO yea... datz hOw my berfday went... LOneLy... but hey... whO isn't?

2004-12-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: tOmOrrOw -eurOpe
feeLn: a LiL tinge Of sadness...

sO...the Opening ceremOny was Ok...nOnetheLess watching angmOs dOing siLat mOves were kinda amusing... cOz nO matter hOw gd dey r in der cOuntry, Once being cOmpared tO mLy pesiLat... dey sO dO nOt haf dat smOOth yet sharp mOves...met up wif zee, hery baby, shameer n jas... i din knOw dat i wasn't suppOsed tO teLL zee dat harun hubby had asked me tO the raya visiting 2 weeks agO... n Of cOz i had cOmpLained tO zee abt da 207 gaLs ignOring me... she den LOOked LOst n tOLd me "...hmmm... harun tak biLang pOn yg u ikut..." OH-OH ...ehheeh...Oh weLL... aLL da best my dear hubby in expLaining tO ur dear gf...LOLx

i've been feeLn a mixed up Of emOtiOns... One minute i'm happy...n the next secOnd i'm feeLn sO dOwn...aLmOst tO da grOund...hairi caLLed me the Other nyt... n asked me y my vOice was as such.. depressed n sO nOt the Lidya dat he knew...i cLdn't share wif him wOt i was feeLn... cOme tO tink Of it...derz nOOne whOm i can share my tOts n feeLns wif... nOt even tO my best frenz... even in diz bLOg, aLL my feeLns r a LiL fiLtrated.. n thus wOt i'm typing r rather superficiaL refLectiOns Of wOt i'm feeLn... even if i dO haf a persOnaL diary... i wun jOt dOwn hOw i feeL...n sO...aLL i can say is dat, itz sO tOrmenting tO haf aLL diz feeLns n nOt being abLed tO Let dem gO... i might burst sOOn...

..if i teLL u my feeLns ...wiLL u be der tO share my LOad...wiLL u be der....tOmOrrOw...

2004-12-12T13:33:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: cinta pertama -the rOckers
feeLn: sLeepy...reaL sLeepy...

niwayz...went Out earLy tO gO tO harun's hse...he wasn't hOme... stiLL in siLat camp...sO went tO get the tix frOm his mum... chatted a LiL n went hOme... nOw i'm feeLn wee bit sLeepy n i tink i'm gOnna dOze Off sOOn enuf.. wiLL be meetn azean, shameer n jasa fOr the Opening ceremOny Of the 8th pencak siLat wOrLd champiOnship... yea...i'm gOing...but OnLy tO suppOrt hubby dearest...haizzz....anOther day Of spending my uninteresting jOurney in Lyf...

2004-12-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

niewayz...my beLOved frenz dat i adOre sO much...itz Lyk 4 mOre days tO my berfday...hehehehe... sO i'LL be waiting....16th dec...sO winda...b4 u get tO ur berfday...itz mine first ya....*preens*.... haiz... my wishList is sOOO very LOng... hahaahha... gOt my first prezzie tOday... frOm bOth my sisters... an mp3 pLayer... i tink datz wOtz itz caLLed...hehehe... sO yea...it LOOks Lyk a pager....yea..beep beep... i reLy tOt dey gaf me a pager wen i actuaLLy asked fOr a fOne.... but the mp3 was gOOd enuf...hehehe... sO yea...i shaLL wait in patience fOr my gifts frOm u guys...keep it cOming...hahha....

2004-12-11T22:23:00.000+08:00

cute kan!!!!!!....hannah emiLia....hakim's sister....
LOOk at dat pOutz...hehehe...Learnt dat frOm my pOuting i guez!!...heehhe

2004-12-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

i neva did stOp LOving u...as hard as i tried, i reLi can't...

2004-12-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: if i ain't gOt u-aLicia keys
feeLn: undefined

been sO LOng since i Last bLOgged...weLL..wOteva...ain't in any mOOd tO...i need my ciggies...perhaps i'LL bLOg again wen i'm a better mOOd... i hate feeLn vuLnerabLe... Lyk i'm missing sumOne wen in reaLity...derz nOne whOm i cLd miss...mebbe itz juz da LOneLy heart...mebbe i juz need sum sex...any takers?

2004-11-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: stiLL LOving u -scOrpiOn
feeLn: Lightheaded...nO...i'm nOt high On anythg...juz Lightheaded...mebbe tO a Point Of having a headache...

sO...hOw many tymz dO u tink dey'LL aLLOw me tO sit fOr a LeveL examz b4 dey decide i'm a pest in writing crappy things On der preciOus examinatiOn papers?....hmmm.. *pOutz*...i sO tink i'LL fLunk again... nO qn abt dat... anyhOw...a trip tO parkway....diz periOd Of raya...aLL diz reLi bring back memOries.... i'd say unwanted memOries... wish i cLd juz erase dem aLL sO i've nO recOLLectiOn Of any kind...itz been crappy few days...wif the exam fever gOing On...my neva ending stiffneck....my irritating sinus... aLL i can juz dO is cOmpLain n gO On rambLing abt it... heLL, i sure can gO n jOt dOwn aLL my unhappiness intO a sad nOveL....bah...

sO...anywayz...been having reLi bad days wif herman... its weird...Oh weLL... i'm juz being the petty OLd me... azman is gOing tO aussie diz dec...asked me if i wanted anythg....hOw abt a surfer dude?...dat wLd be reaL nice... juz a surfer aussie dude fOr me tO hang On my waLL in my rOOm... *pOutz*... Oh...yea... i made a mentaL nOte earLier tOday tO bLOg abt diz One cute dude whO's sitting fOr his A's again.... *stares dreamingLy intO the bLank waLL*.....hahaha..... i reckOn he's a mLy....rides a scrambLer...thO i hate guys wif bikes... cOz nOwadays guys wif bikes simpLy pOse ard wif der bikes in hOpe tO get gaLs... :) wOteva La... anywayz... hez cute... datz abt aLL... we neva smiLed thO... i was fagging b4 i went in fOr my ecOns paper wen i saw him again....din knOw he was Outside dOing exactLy da same ting... hmmm... pretty weird since i'm da OnLy dudette ard whO fags weneva da was a break in btwn papers...Oh crap... i am wOt i am... whO cares... but pOint is...hez cute...hahaaha....

finaLLy paper is ending sOOn...thurs tO be exact... n da gaLs gOnna gO raya visiting diz thurs...ryt after my paper...ahahah.... itz pretty ObviOus dat we r sO gOnna get ard by taxi...cOz rudy is werkn On dat day.... n bOarding the bus Or mrt wif baju kurungs is a straight NO-WAY-JOSE.....ahahah... schOOL dayz r Over... dOz periOd wen itz aLL abt having thriLLs waLking ard sg in baju kurung n taking the pubLic service transpOrtatiOn..... caLL me a spOiLt bitch... i dun care...pOint is...as LOng as i can affOrd cOmfOrt Of taking taxis whiLe in my kurung...i'LL dO dat... but diz sat we're invited tO cikgu's hse....sasha n da rest r nOt da taxi type...if i were tO jOin...Oh...i cLd aLready guess wOt wLd happen tO my beautifuL sexy pampered Legs... *pOutz*... haizzz... OppOrtunity cOst fOr jOing sasha n the gaLs... *rOLLs eyes*.... but it'LL be fun i guez... we'LL see.....

2004-11-21T11:52:00.000+08:00

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
You'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So far
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
To mend my heart
strange that I was wrong enough
to think you'd love me too
You must have been kissing a fool
I said you must have been kissing a fool

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you'll ever give
Long as we both live
when you need the hand of another man
one you really can surrender with
I will wait for you like I always do
there's something there
that can't compare with any other

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
You must have been kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool

2004-11-19T11:26:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: fire -desiree & babyface
feeLn: achy bOdy...

sO...raya had been wOnderfuL thO it Lasted quite fast... rustam (my brO frOm kL) drOve up here the nyt b4 raya wif his fam...everyOne eLse knew he was cOming except fOr me...meant tO be a surprise... it werkd a LiL cOz i had a feeLn dat he was gOnna cOme.... :) it was a great surprise thO... rustam Left sun nyt itseLf aLOng wif mum n dad whO were gOing tO perak fOr an engagement functiOn...weird dat first day Of raya n we gaLs (my sisters n i) had tO spend the nyt aLOne... but it was aLL weLL spent in da mOrning itseLf...

my BIG famiLy.... (frOm tOp Left: eka (my maid), my eLdest brO suffian wif his daughter nabiLa fOLLOwed by his wife, kak ninis, my 2nd sis hidaya, myseLf, my 1st sis siti, kak ta (my 2nd brO's wife) wif hannah n my secOnd eLdest brO rustam. 2nd rOw: parents n granma wif hakim On dad's Lap n Luqman On mum's) (thanx tO winda i'm updating diz pic wif nameList!)

..siti wif nabiLa...rustam wif hakim....suryanti wif hannah...i'm wif myseLf...LOLx..

my eLdest brO n myseLf...

rustam n me...:) wif my babybOy...
hakim n his cheeky smiLe... :P

2004-11-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

ahahha...guess wOt...i actuaLLy cycLed aLL da way tO bedOk tO pass baby (heryani) her Lenses dat she bOught wif me... ahakz...i've neva dOne dat b4...it feLt gOOd...aLthO derz a few instances dat i haf aLmOst feLL Off da bike Or hit sumOne... but aLL in aLL...i made it!!!...

tOday marks da end Of ramadhan...as suaL nO matter hOw happy u r Or try tO be, hearing the tadbir Owez wiLL make One feeL sOmbre n meLanchOLic... the mOment i heard it On da radiO, my mind went tinking Of my brO whO is in kL.. itz sad tO tink dat raya w/O him n his famiLy wLdn't be perfect at aLL... it seems aLmOst incOmpLete w/O dem... i dO wish dem happiness n prOsperity der thO...

On da same nOte, i juz wanna wish my feLLOw frenz seLamat hari raya...

my dearest bimbO, diLah& dzuL (if u r reading): saLam Lebaran tO u guys..itz da first raya dat u guys r ceLebrating tOgeder n i'm sure derz mOre tO cOme insyaLLah...diL, i'm sOri fOr every manipuLative mOve dat i've made tOwards u since Our frenship...but u've been heLLuva gf tO me fOr aLL diz yrs... i reLi apOLOgise fOr every mistake dat was made either intentiOnaLLy Or Otherwise...fOr aLL my crueL jOkes, i apOLOgise tOO...senang ckp aku mintak maaf Lah atas segaLa-gaLanya!!!
muna: i nak mintak maaf!!!!!!...kaLau aku terkasar bahasa kat kO ker...ahaha...terketawakan kO ker...jOke2 yg tak beraLas ker....haahahha... biaser Lah kan!!!...kekeek...nieways... u n diL haf been my great bunch Of frenz n itz great dat we r gOing Out tOgeder nOw even thO itz Once awhiLe...
zaza: seLamat hari raya tO u abg cute...eh...abg brutaL!!!....ahahaha...i apOLOgise fOr everythg dat i did dat u take Offence tO...itz been great knOwing u... n i wish u happiness in everythg dat u dO...
winda: hey gurL!!!...ahahha...Of aLL diz yrs dat i faiLed tO wish u Or even send u a card, i apOLOgise!!!...ahahaha... i'm nOt reLi a card persOn...sO fOrgive me On dat...
yanadey: ahahha...my bitch!!!...Of aLL da tymz dat we chatted OnLine, if i ever made fun Of ur situatiOn Or if i've ever been tOO bLunt in the way i cOnversed wif u, i mintak maaf k syg!!...biLer nak jumper nie!!!...dah tak sabar nak ramas2 tetek u...hahahaha....
herman: dude!!!...ahakz... i tink u r reading diz...nOt tOO sure... but i reLi wanna apOLOgise fOr everythg dat i've dOne tOwards u dat made u take heart tO...my bLunt remarks da Other day reLi came acrOss very unpLeasant tO u...dat i knOw...aLthO u kept saying itz Ok....but i knOw deep dOwn dat sure haf hurt aLOt....n i apOLOgise fOr dat....n fOr everythg eLse tOO...
sOLi: hey gemOk2...ehhehe...juz wanna wish u seLamat ari raya...i've neva reLi get tO apOLOgise tO u abt wOtevaz dat had happened tO us (u knOw wOt i mean)...but i'm happy fOr u nOw since u haf had sumOne whOm u can caLL ur Own...stay happy u guys...n aLL dOz tymz dat i made u angry Or wOteva...mintak maaf Lah byk2...
mus n cOmpany: haahha....aku mintak byk2 Lah ampun atas segaLa sarcastic remarks dat i've made tOwards u guys....my jOkes of u n cOmpany can reLi hurt sumtyms i knOw...but den...datz wOt hari raya's fOr...ahahah...make mistakes..pLentifuL Of dem....den ask fOr fOrgiveness...haahhaha
tO aLL Other peepz dat i faiLed tO mentiOn here: hey guys....i kinda fOrget aLL abt u...ahahha... i'm sOry!!!...but hey...u can tag me n Lemme knOw...heheeh...maaf zahir dan batin!!!...kuang kuang kuang!!...

sO in spirit Of raya, i wish aLL da musLims haf a great syawaL... wOtevaz unhappiness dat u may feeL, cast it aside fOr awhiLe...be strOng cOz ALLAH wLdn't haf tested u On sumthg dat u can't handLe...faith is aLL u need... hard werk is aLL u haf tO dO...insyaLLah... everythg wiLL be bLessed by Him... sO haf a great weekend my dear frenz... musLims Or nOt... we r tO enjOy tOgeder diz wOnderfuL festive seasOn... :)

2004-11-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

hmmm...diz is One bz day... a day b4 raya Owez seems tO be very bz bz bz... niwayz, i accidentaLLy cut my index finger whiLe cutting ginger... yeah..Ouch... pLus i'm having a freakn stiffneck since 3 days agO...Oh gOsh...wOt better timing can diz aLL happened...*pOutz*... i tink diz yr, my hse wiLL LOOk very Oh-biang...Offbeat?...wOteva u caLL it..

the cushiOns...Oh..letz nOt start On dat...dey r sOOOO miss matched wif the curtains....
pLus my sis bOught a reLi huge vase Of big fLOwers frOm giftweLL...eeeeeeeeew....i tink age has caught wif her since she used tO haf reLi great taste in picking up bOuquets Of fLOwers... thank gOd dey r giving dat big big big fLowers away tO my sister-in-Law...hahaha... *eviL smiLe*....
mum bOught diz HUGE green vase wif BIG fLOwery designs frOm jb... Oh LOrd... wer in da werLd wLd she put dat....mebbe the cOncept Of diz yrs raya is Offbeatness...OLd fashiOnness....*rOLLs eyes*

hmmmm...a trip tO geyLang yesterday was very unpLanned... i wasn't suppOsed tO step intO geyLang again cOz Of da crOwd der...n yes...i'm ashamed tO caLL sOme Of dem as my Own sOciety...curse me aLL u want... but sumtymz i wOnder...wOt dO parents tink wen dey see der kids acting as such...drunk whiLe in geyLang...prOudLy shOwing Of tattOOs On neck...arm...n even in pLaces wer u wLd nOt tink pOssibLe... dO der parents reLi prOud Of der kids? sumtymz i reLi wOnder n den cOme tO a cOncLusiOn dat everyOne is entitLed tO der Own freedOm Of expressing demseLves... but hey... everyOne tOO has a respOnsibiLity here in uphOLding wOt der cuLture n reLigiOn is aLL abt... mOdernisatiOn isn't aLL abt westanisatiOn... tak kan meLayu hiLang di dunia...nOw i'm reLi starting tO wOnder if dat quOte reLi sOund at aLL true...cOnsidering hOw mLy kids nOwadays perceive things... haahha.. i'm OLd fashiOn?...be it then...at Least i am whO i am...nOt One whO juz fOLLOws the quirks n idiOsyncrasies Of the majOrity.....

2004-11-11T10:36:00.000+08:00

sO...itz been a very Lazy week wen it shLd haf nOt....my trip tO geyLang On a sat nyt wif bijik, esah and baby (heryani) was sO fun... nOt cOz Of geyLang... but becOz Of whO i was wif...n we went der juz tO get burger ramLi n Other fOOd stuffs... it was reLi a bad idea tO gO der On a sat nyt cOz Of da mats n minahs n the wOtevaz.... scantiLy dressed...*rOLLs eyes*...i'm nO angeL myseLf but hey...wen itz dat tym Of da year, sOme respect shLd be given tO da mth... sO we grabbed sOme fOOd n hurriedLy went Off tO parkway...sat at mccafe fOr awhiLe tO enjOy wOtz Left Of Our fOOd gaLOre...n went hOme..

maths paper was a reaL tOughie... curse aLL dOz whO find it easy...hahaha... datz bad...Ok.. i take it aLL back OnLy cOz i'm a sweet persOn... after the paper we (bijik, baby & i)went tO catch shark taLe...it was Ok... but bijik n i kept Laffing Our ass Off cOz we made fun Of everythg inside der...hOw the 2 jeLLyfish LOOked cute wif der tentacLes which by da way suppOsed tO be dreadLOcks....very rastafarian...ahahaha..da way dey spOke...very da-bOb-marLey-fans... da way itz sO Lyk watching the gOdfather aLL Over again wif diz tym itz dOn LinO instead Of dOn cOrLeOne...hahaah...weird... but it was great if u r catching it wif da ryt kinda peepz...

hmmm...wOt eLse...Of...my sis-in-Law juz gaf birth tO a heaLthy babybOy diz mOrning at 1+...:) ceLebrating deepavaLi, i'd say....ahaah... i'LL be visiting her Later in da evening...after i get sOme studying dOne... stiLL tO gO....ecOns..accOunts...n mathspaper 2...wish me Luck peepz...!

2004-11-07T20:17:00.001+08:00

2004-11-07T18:00:00.000+08:00

rest in peace my dearest feLine...hOney (1998- 7/11/2004)

2004-11-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: 18 & Life -skid rOw
feeLn: i wish i was back at being 18!

sO...gp paper sux... essay...i tOt i had the pOints...weLL i did say 'i tOt'...i did a qn sumthg Lyk diz "what is the impOrtance Of reLigiOn in the sOciety tOday?"...sumthg Lyk dat i tink...hhaha... Oh crap... pLus it was an air-cOn rOOm!!!... sO i spend aLL Of my tym sneezing n weezing n sniffing away...*pOutz*.... n wif my kinda sneezing (OnLy dOz Of u whO haf heard me sneeze wOuLd knOw hOw enchanting my sneeze is!) i guez der were quite afew whO were rather irritated dat diz retarded bimbO whO seemed to need a cOrk up her nOstriLLs can't seem tO quit sneezing...pfft!...

sO tmrw wiLL my mLy A paper...aLL da best tO myseLf.. may i be the tOp student Of the center dat i'm dOing my examz in....insyaLLah...*rOLLs eyes*....Lyk zaza said....SEMANGAT!!!!....MUZ HAF SEMANGAT....LOLx...

2004-11-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: angeL -amanda perez
feeLn: ....

hmmmm...diz sOng...was da sOng wen he Left me 2 yrs agO...hahaha... itz hOw i gOt my nick cRynAnGeL...cOz i reLi Loved diz sOng back den...pLus i was cryn...thus...cRynAnGeL...

2004-11-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: iris -gOO gOO dOLLs
feeLn: STRESSED OUT!!!

sO...tmrw marks the day werby dey test my brain capacity in absOrbing wOteva shits dat i've been reading...sO dun miss my presence cOz 3 weeks frOm nOw..i'LL haf ziLch sOcial Lyf..kiss me gdLuck...

2004-11-03T10:38:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: far frOm sun -amOrphis
feeLn: meLanchOLIc...

sO...i tink my cat wun Last tiLL end Of next week....prOLLy i'LL be withOut her fOr raya...cOnditiOn is gettn wOrse...juz finished giving her 100mL Of iv drip...haizzz... itz sO depressing tO see dat shez nOt even struggLing wen my sis pOked her wif dat needLe...it seems dat she has nO energy Left... juz Last nyt my sis saw her dangLing frOm a chair cOz she had nO energy Left tO jump up high enuff fOr her tO settLe On the chair...sO i guez she cLdn't reach the tOp Of the chair n thus OnLy her paws cLd reach the tOp Of dat cushiOned chair... ....*sOb*....sOb*....Oh gOd...pLz take her away nOw....i sO can see dat shez suffering... if shez human she'd vOice Out hOw shez feeLn....itz her Lack Of respOnsiveness dat shOwed us dat shez reLi in pain... ya ALLAH ...Lessen her pain pLz.....

2004-11-03T10:07:00.000+08:00

SAGITTARIUS November 22 December 20

You are insensible and generally have complete no control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also
likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them...

2004-11-02T13:57:00.000+08:00

ah!!!!!!!!!!.....i can upLOad my sOng!!!!!!!!...ahahahaha... sO i'm nOt a thief!!!!...sO nO need tO apOLOgise tO hyder!!!...wkaakkaa....yey!!!!!!!!

2004-11-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

...hehehe...OOps....i juz stOLe a sOng frOm sumOnez bLOg...*pOutz*.....hehee...if anyOne Of u knOws hyder...dun teLL him i stOLe his sOng urL....ekekkke... damn...he dOesn't even knOw me...ahakz... cOz i can't upLOad my Own sOng...heLL...sO y nOt settLe fOr da 2nd best...sO hyder...if u happen tO stumbLe upOn my bLOg within diz few days b4 i get a chance tO change da sOng...i'm sOrry fOr using (nOt steaLing!) ur sOng urL... eheheh... :)

sO anywayz...i juz recaLLed dat i dreamt Of zaza diz earLy mOrning...*pOutz*...hOw weird...Oh weLL.. it was a pLeasant dream...i tink...at sOme pOint it was...haha...

ergh!...i need tO hOst my Own sOng!!!...da sOng dat i want!

2004-11-02T10:42:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: fuck, i dun want u back -eamOn
feeLn: achy!!!!!!!

sO...i fOrgOt tO teLL u guys dat my cat is having kidney faiLure...hOpefuLLy its mOre Of acute rather than chrOnic.... :( anywayz...a trip tO da vet yesterday was rather a new experience fOr me...hOLding dOwn hOney (my cat) was a fOur persOns task...n becOz shez been an intravenOus drip fOr 4 dayz...her ryt paw started tO sweLL up reaL big...made her LOOk Lyk shez wearing bOOts... i hOpe she gets better....insyaLLah

anywayz...keLvin caLLed me up Late Last nyt tO teLL me dat he sLipped n feLL yesterday cOz it was raining heaviLy...n nOw, he has a sprained ankLe... aaawww....i feeL sO bad cOz i was suppOsed tO gO Out wif him yesterday but i cLdn't make it...hmmmm

n sO examz starting diz thurs...gd Luck tO aLL whOse taking der A's Or wOteva shits dey r taking...tO my dearest eviL bimbO...GD LUCK...tO muna if u r reading diz GD LUCK...tO sOLi if u r peeping in here, GD LUCK....tO mus if u r stiLL bOthered tO read at aLL, GD LUCK...(if u decide tO sit fOr it anyways...heeheh)....tO whOeva...GD LUCK!!!.....sO erm...is diz a reverse psychOLOgy dat i'm dOing juz tO get myseLf Off dat nervOus breakdOwn dat i'm sO gOnna haf sOOn?...very sOOn?...Oh LOrd...save me...

2004-11-01T19:46:00.000+08:00

isn't she eviL?...*pOutz*....

2004-10-31T10:44:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: LOrries Outside...
feeLn: tummyache!

ahahahha...keLvin is cute?...LOLx... i tink he's cute in pics....datz wen the cuteness stOps... Oh gOsh..i'm sO mean...he reLi LOOks gOOd in pics... :) Oh gOsh..tummyache!!!...i'LL be back Later!!!!!!

2004-10-30T10:15:00.000+08:00

Listening tO:master Of puppets -metaLLica
feeLn: Lazy...

Ok sO...Last nyt was the Last tym i saw keLvin fOr cLasses....he came Late..aLmOst during breaktym...n i Oredi asked my dad tO pick me up during breaktym cOz i feLt dat the LessOn was tOO bOring...LOLx... niways i feLt bad...cOz wen he came, his eyes were LOOking at the seat beside me...but i juz cLdn't bring myseLf tO Lift up my bag which was On da chair...i reLi dunnO y but i was kinda ignOring him tiLL i was ready tO Leave...den he signaLLed fOr me tO cOme Over tO his tabLe fOr awhiLe...we tOk aLiL.. den he tOLd me he was sick...sO anywayz...he Offered tO send me tO the carpark tO wait tiLL my ride came...during dat tym...we jOked ard...he said dat my twO pOnytaiLs were stupid LOOking...*pOutz*... i tOLd him his hair was very kOOkOO...n den i reaLised it was the Last tym we were gOnna see each Other unLess Of cOz we make an effOrt tO meet up after the exams... i tink he reaLised dat tOO at the same tym as i did cOz he gimme dat LOOk n punch a LiL On my arm and ask me tO tk cr.... it reLi feLt Lyk gdbye sumhOw...i hOpe itz nOt thO...

2004-10-29T09:28:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: pitter patter rain drOps...
feeLn: cOLd....shivering!...grrrrrrr

Ok sO...i was invited by muna the greatest tO a LOreaL saLe at sOmerset Last nyt....were suppOsed tO meet at 9am tOday cOz she has tuitiOn in da afternOOn... sO tOday i was awakened rudeLy by my aLarm cLOck at 8am...*yawnz*...a minute Later munz caLLed n said she cLdn't make it....shez canceLLed a trip tO da LOreaL saLe?! (i dun even knOw wer itz heLd n wOt kinda saLe it is at diz pOint Of tym diz entry is being typed...) hahaah...sO i caLLed up my dearest bimbO....ahahha...LOVE U BIMBO DEAREST....n true enuff she agreed after much persuasiOn...kkekeke...sO nOw after shOwering in cOLd water cOz i fOrgOt tO switch On da heater...after sacrificing my sLeep On diz rainy mOrning... after gettn a fOnecaLL frOm my bimbO's babybOy (apparentLy she cOmpLained tO him....ahahah..)....after aLL diz...i hOpe da saLe is wOrth it... *crOssing my fingers*...

tings tO buy: LipgLOss fOr myseLf
Lipsticks fOr sisters n mum
a bLack naiL pOLish
cOntact Lens
a pair Of raya shOes

2004-10-28T17:53:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: my happy ending-avriL Lavigne
feeLn: tired...achy!

sO...i dOubt u guys nOticed the change in my LayOut...LOLx...mebbe it was retributiOn On my part fOr bitching in my previOus entry...ahhaah...sumhOw Or rather my tempLate gOt messed up... *pOutz*... i'm tOO freakn Lazy tO gO n edit my OLd tempLate aLL Over again...sO...y nOt...a simpLe One fOr da tym being...ahakz... nice huh...*rOLLs eyes*

sO anywayz...i'm sO freakn happy... last nyt nasir caLLed me up cOz i texted him sumthg Late at nyt...sO he caLLed me up since hez werkn....DAMN!...i din knOw hOw much i missed him tiLL i heard his vOice... ahakz...gOsh.. thO it was a shOrt cOnversatiOn, it was enuff tO make me smiLe whiLe i faLL asLeep...*bLush*...nO...nO...i'm nOt Lykn him Lyk dat...at Least nOt in dat way dat u might tink...i Lyk his cOmpany n we were sLacking buddies n we Owez did things tOgeder back den...sit in da Lectures...in da cOLd aircOn rOOm...being da sweet me...i'LL Owez stayed behind wif him after Lectures cOz he tend tO get hard-Ons during Lectures...LOLx...muz be da Lecturer!...ahahah....sO anywayz...we're sO gOnna meet up sOOn... n i can't wait...:)

2004-10-26T11:44:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: i don'y wanna knOw-mariO winans
feeLn: irritated

sO...biggest surprise diz mOrning was knOwing dat haLim is attached...heh.. nOt dat he tOLd me Of cOz... i fOund Out tru frenster...*pOutz* ...Ok..first things first... i'm nOt jeaLOus...pLus i dO nOt haf a crush On him Or anythg... but itz reLi bugging me dat peepz Owez dO diz kinda tricks On me....nOt dat i beLieved dem tO begin wif...itz juz dat i hate tO be ryt...i hate tO haf dat kinda impressiOn On sumOne cOz i'm tryn tO beLieve dat derz juz mOre tO dem Other den da fact i myseLf tink dat One's a Liar Or a sweet taLker...am i making sense here?...ahaha...pOint is...i knOw peOpLe Lie aLL da tym juz tO make demseLves LOOk gOOd Or at Least make demseLves mOre interesting Or wOtsOeva...mebbe wOt i'm sO pissed abt haLim is juz dat we've been sO-caLLed frenz fOr reLi a LOng whiLe nOw n he gets pissed wen i dun answer his caLLs as Often as it used tO be...n der was even a pOint Of tym wen he cOmpLained abt gaLs being nOt trustwOrthy enuff....aLL gaLs...(i dOubt he was tinking den dat i MIGHT Of dat gender!)...n aLL my tym tOking him On da fOne juz Listening tO him saying dat derz nO way he's gOnna faLL...n dat he's ditching aLL Of his frenz whO r gaLs except fOr me cOz i was sweet enuff...*rOLLs eyes*... i knew dat was juz an excuse fOr wOteva reasOn which i juz can't put my finger tO it sumhOw..... but after sO LOng he dOesn't haf a decency tO teLL me dat he's attached.....Oh weLL...peepz Owez dO diz kinda things tO me...pffft...*pOutz* ....

anywayz, i saw ceLOp dat day...aLi tO be precised..he is such a cutie....but One ting i suddenLy nOtice is dat... cute guys r Owez nice enuff tO cOmpLiment me saying i'm a tOugh cOOkie...dat i'm a fighter... Or dat i dO LOOk gOOd in my Own way....but itz guys whO r reLi (i'm juz gOnna be bLunt here!) ugLy Or haf dat perceptiOn dat dey r "gOd-send-me-frOm-abOve-n-derfOre-i'm-the-mOst-handsOme-dude-der-is" kinda dude (which by the way dey dun even cOme cLOse tO being at aLL gOOdLOOking Let aLOne being greatLOOking n pLus i reLi haf a high expectatiOn Of wOt is meant by being gOOdLOOking!..even mazLan dOesn't cOme cLOse tO being gOOdLOOking...Ok..i'm Lying..haha!) dat make such cOmments abt the way i am... funny isn't it...i mean... r dey reLi ignOrant Of hOw they LOOk physicaLLy?...i mean seriOusLy....dO dey reLi haf da brains Of a LObster?...which is technicaLLy nOn existent by the way... ahakz...sOme peOpLe juz can't reLi get it inside der head dat everythg On diz earth is created by HIM aLOne...n btw i juz insuLted HIS creatiOn On diz ugLy peepz n gOd fOrgive me fOr dat!...but it was juz tO iLLustrate the way tings r...

n wOt is it abt him (i'm tOking abt sumbOdy eLse actuaLLy) cOmmenting dat i haf gaLfrenz whO r pretty?...aLL Of my frenz r pretty! ...i'm bLessed wif frenz whO r GOODLOOKING!....n i'm prOud Of it... wen i say aLL...it means aLL...nOt a singLe One Of dem is ugLy...dey may haf One Leg...dey may haf tentacLes grOwing Out Of der bOdies....but as LOng as dey r my frenz den dey r GREATLOOKING enuff...sO dun he dare gO ard saying i haf frenz whO r pretty.... itz OnLy cOz he can't get pretty gaLs tO sLeep wif him (datz y hez stuck wif wOteva Or whOeva he has nOw) dat he has tO make it sOund dat itz wrOng fOr me tO haf greatLOOking frens!...

Ok...diz entry is fuLL hatred n it shaLL OnLy be One Of itz kind in here....i'm nOt Lyk diz...diz is sO nOt me..*rOLLs eyes*....Oh yea...make me beLieve dat tOO...

2004-10-25T10:48:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: kasih tak sampai -padi
feeLn: cOLd....

itz raining....*yawnz*...Oh gOsh... n i din wanna wake up....but i had tO... i'LL be very bz diz week...i'LL be LOst in my Own wOrLd fOr aLiL whiLe...at Least after 25th nOv...(sumhOw dat date LOOkz kinda dejavu....Oh..24th is famiLiar...25 is nuthn...LOLx...) exactLy a mth frOm nOw...

Last nyt i juz sms nasir wOng... i tOt Of him mOre Often diz dayz... i reLi miss juz sLacking ard wif him during Our skOOL days...Often said...he was a hunky dude in da skOOL...beautifuL bOdy...beautifuL arse...LOLx... Ok...dat came Out rather pervertedLy....turns Out he juz had a break up recentLy wif his Other haLf...itz dat seasOn i'm teLLing u...everyOne's breaking up.... except Of cOz fOr my beLOved bimbO...*pOints at bimbO*....*pOutz*... sO anyhOwz, we prOmised tO get a cup Of tea (OnLy cOz i dun drink cOffee!) n catch up On each Otherz Lyf....

i hate being caLLed a nOsy parker wen i'm actuaLLy nOt... deOmar smsed me abt butting intO his affairs wif his gf (ex...i dunnO) wen i did nuthn Of dat sOrt... she came tO me askn a favOur...i said Ok... as far as i'm cOncern wOteverz happening btwn him n her is nOn Of my cOncern...

hakim is gOing hOme tOday.... i had da jOy Of having his cOmpany On sat n sunday....itz been great but stiLL nOt sufficient enuff tO make me nOt miss him wen he gOes back....wOt is it abt him dat i LOve sO much....mebbe itz his cheekiness at such a tender age Of 3...makes u wOnder hOw he'LL be Lyk wen he 23....nO...i'm nOt perverted enuff tO tink dat way...itz juz da jOy Of watching him grOw fOr da past few yrs dat made me LOve him sO much.. even thinking Of my babybOy makes me smiLe...i'm gettn emOtiOnaLLy invOLved wif him....but i can't heLp it...Oh weLL... :)

i reLi need my ciggies..i've been w/O cash fOr quite sumtym...itz reLi bugging me dat i'm Owez Lacking Of dem.... *pOutz* ...but sumtymz i tink dat i'm quite a Lucky persOn cOz every expense Of mine is taken care Of either by my sisters Of my brOs... but pOint is...i need my freakn ciggies!!! *pOutz*

2004-10-23T10:33:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: darjat -a tO z
feeLn: happy...

:) yupz... i'm smiLing.. ahakz... it sOunds very weird... but Last nyt... i was cOmpLaining abt hOw i was missing hakim... i did cry a LiL... Ok... aLOt.. 1/2hr Later... my brO caLLed infOrming us dat he's cOming tOday!!!... weird....i was missing dem Lyk crazy n as if dey cLd read my mind!!!!!! weeeeeeee~~ my baby's cOming fOr da weekend!!!...i'LL sLeep wif him...pLay wif him... kiss him Lyk heLL!... datz wOt i'LL dO!!!!! I LOVE MY BABYBOY!!!!!!!! geramnyer aku!!!!!!!

2004-10-22T20:44:00.000+08:00

...gOsh...i'm reLi missing my babybOy...hakim...i'm On da verge Of cryn... haizzz... i reLi miss him Lyk heLL!!!!!!!!!.... ergh!!!!

2004-10-21T20:35:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: nazraku -spider
feeLn: upbeat...

..jgn kau tanyakan apakah alasan rasional ku...kerana ku sendiri tak tahu...Oh ku hanyaLah menurut perintah jiwa..kata nazra ku Lah benar..

Oh wOw...spider...sexy vOice!!...ahakz...anyhOwz i tink i'm a paedOphiLe... juz yesterday i had a crush On a 16-yr-OLd bOy frOm victOria skOOL... dat is if i'm assuming dat he's 16! he has the mOst cutest Lips ard...wif his braces n aLL... i practicaLLy spend 4 hrs watching him (ignOring the fact dat his gf is beside him!) study at ymca....*pOutz*... shadiq n keLvin had the jOy Of teasing me aLL da tym we were der... but i reLi cLdn't get my eyes Off him....haiz...sO basicaLLy he's my 2nd vs dude dat i've had a crush On Other den dat 'LOvinO v cruz' dude wen i was sec 2 (eventuaLLy after yrs Of dOOdLing LOvinO's name On any piece Of paper i cLd find n diLa's Lit textbk fOr dat matter, i came tO knOw dat his name wasn't even LOvinO!...sumthg chinesey!)...haizz... i wish i'm back tO being 16...ahakz...Lyk dat wLd make a LOt Of diff... pfft...

i'm sO bz diz days wif wOrrying abt my examz which r juz ard dat famiLiar cOrner...*pOutz* ...i hOpe i can reLi puLL sOme Last minute strings...ahaha...*crOss fingers*... which i dOubt wLd werk...but at Least fOr nOw dat tOt cOmfOrts me... i'm sO in LOve wif my frenz...yes...u...my frenz... :) tOO bad if u dun haf dat mutuaL feeLn tOwards me...but nOnetheLess...I LOVE U!!!...ahakz...

2004-10-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: sumthg by cathy dennis
feeLn: ...hungry (?)...

sO anywayz....Last nyt was a disaster fOr me...it was very frightening...i was On da verge Of sLeeping On da fOne whiLe Listening tO sumOne's rambLing abt sumthg which i cLdn't recaLL.... i was Oredi haLfway tO dreamLand wen suddenLy a reLi LOud thunder rOared....n i juz had tO scream my heart Out cOZ it was scary.... in my mind i was fairLy disturbed by images frOm the typicaL jap mOvies Like the ring n ju-On...hahaaha... n the bugger On the Other Line tOt i feLL Off my bed...*pOutz*... sO wif the images pLaying in my mind b4 i dOzed Off came dat LOud thunder.....i reLi gOt a shOck Of my Lyf...i tink i muz haf turned paLe instantLy...sO immediateLy i excused myseLf frOm the bOring cOnversatiOn n scurried tO parents rOOm....ahakz.... i managed tO squeeze n find space fOr myseLf On the bed...*twirLs hair* n sLept Lyk a LOg in da cOmfOrt Of my parents bed...wif aLL dat snOring...at Least it was sOfter den the thunder...

2004-10-18T17:14:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: neva be repLaced-1st Ladi
feeLn: ...hOt...

sO...ramadhan is here... itz been fun sO far fasting n enduring my hunger! haahha... i was thinking Of taking advantage Of the fasting mth tO reLi curb my eating habit n mebbe LOOse a few kgs....wishfuL thinking On my part cOz everytym it was eating tym, i'LL be bLinded by aLL dOz yummiLiciOus LOOking fOOd...i juz finished cOOkn sweet n sOur big big prawns...tOO bad i wun be abLe tO eat dem Later....cOz i'LL be in cLass... sO i guez burger wiLL be my dinner... *pOutz*....hOrribLe....pffft... Oh weLL...

Oh...i saw mike the Other day...*rOLLs eyes*... yes...dat dude...pffft... trust him tO teLL izam tO say heLLO tO me fOr him...wOteva...muz be a sarcastic One...fOrtunateLy fOr me... it dOesnt matter wOt he caLLs me... i'm happy the way i am.. besides...i'm nOt eating rice frOm his pLate...

grandma's here tO stay....dad fetched her frOm aunt's pLace... she is sO scrawny... itz a wOnder hOw One can chOOse tO ignOre wOt an eLderLy eats Or dOesn't... again...as they say...a singLe mOm can raise 10 chiLdren On her Own... by means Of anythg... but dat dOesn't mean dat her 10 chiLdren wLd be abLe tO tend tO her needs in her OLd age wen the tym cOmes... hOpefuLLy my parents wiLL nOt be negLected as such.. insyaLLah..i'm gLad my parents decided tO bring her Over...she can bareLy waLk... n nOw...i haf the respOnsibiLity Of bathing her....ekkekek.. *eviL smiLe*... One can OnLy imagine hOw cLean my grandma can get wif me cLeaning her.... LOLx

2004-10-15T10:34:00.000+08:00

if i knew it wOuLd be the Last time
that i'd see u faLL asLeep,
i wOuLd tuck u in mOre tightLy
and pray the LOrd, yOur sOuL tO keep.

if i knew it wOuLd be the Last time
that i see u waLk Out the dOOr,
i wOuLd give u a hug and kiss
and caLL u back fOr One mOre.

if i knew it wOuLd be the last time
i'd hear ur vOice Lifted up in praise,
i wOuLd videO tape each actiOn and wOrd,
sO i cOuLd pLay them back day after day.

if i knew it wOuLd be the Last time,
i cOuLd spare an extra minute Or twO
tO stOp and say I LOve u,
instead Of assuming u wOuLd KNOW i dO.

if i knew it wOuLd be the Last time
i wOuLd be there tO share ur day,
weLL i'm sure u'LL have sO many mOre,
sO i can Let just this One sLip away.

fOr sureLy there's aLways tOmOrrOw
tO make up fOr an Oversight,
and we aLways get a secOnd chance
tO make everything right.

there wiLL aLways be anOther day
tO say Our i LOve u's,
and certainLy there's anOther chance
tO say Our 'anything i can dO's?'

but just in case i might be wrOng,
and tOday is aLL i get,
i'd Like tO say hOw much i LOve u
and i hOpe we never fOrget

tOmOrrOw is nOt prOmised tO anyOne,
yOung Or OLd aLike,
and tOday may be the Last chance u get
tO hOLd ur LOved One tight..

sO if u're waiting fOr tOmOrrOw,
why nOt dO it tOday?
fOr if tOmOrrOw never cOmes,
u'LL sureLy regret the day

that u didn't take that extra time
fOr a smiLe, a hug, Or a kiss
and u were tOO busy tO grant sOmeOne,
what turned Out tO be their One Last wish.

sO hOLd ur LOved Ones cLOse tOday,
whisper in their ear,
teLL them hOw much u LOve them
and that u'LL aLways hOLd them dear,

take time tO say "i'm sOrry, pLease fOrgive me,"
"thank u" Or "it's Okay".
and if tOmOrrOw never cOmes,
u'LL have nO regrets abOut tOday....

he'LL aLwayz haf dat speciaL pLace in my heart...ramadhan's here... sOOn syawaL wiLL cOme...n the past wLd be a nicer pLace tO Live in than the present...

2004-10-15T10:01:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: cOnstrutiOn werkerz scraping sand frOm the carpark (?)...
feeLn: exhausted!!

i juz had dat kinda dream where u haf tO run aLOt...scream aLOt...swim...yea...dat kinda dream wer eventuaLLy wen u wake up, u'LL be drained Outta ur energy despite the fact u juz wOke up frOm sLeep...irOnic but datz hOw i'm feeLn nOw...it was a hOrrOr dream...Oh...i recaLL...itz caLLed nightmare...ahakz... i was being chased by a zOmbie whO LOOked exactLy Lyk a Living human being... n itz funny wen u r in a dream, u r Owez unabLe tO run faster...Lyk u r gOing against the current...n datz wOt make it mOre exhausting! i swam...i ran...i screamed in fear...n nOw i'm sO freakn tired!! Oh gOsh....

2004-10-14T15:41:00.000+08:00

..i dOn't mind spending everyday..Out On ur cOrner in the pOuring rain...LOOk fOr the girL wif the brOken smiLe..ask her if she wants tO stay awhiLe..she wiLL be LOved..

Listening tO: she wiLL be LOved -marOOn 5
feeLn: sOmewOt caLm...

...after days Of juz sLacking Outside...itz a nice weLcOming change tO juz Laze ard at hOme...i mean study....LOLx... did i say sLack?...nO...nO... itz studying Outside.... yes.... *pOutz*

itz cLOse tO 4 in da afternOOn...i stiLL haf yet tO take my mOrning shOwer... mebbe i'LL juz take an evening One since i've Oredi missed mOrning itseLf.. ahakz....anyhOws...i'm in my high spirits ryt nOw...but OnLy fOr awhiLe i presume...but sumhOw...sumwer... derz sumOne Out der fOr me..yea ryt...try cOnvincing urseLf harder Lidya...*rOLLs eyes*

...i wiLL be LOved...

nOte: i reLi wish my fairy gOdmOther wLd gif me a gOOd surprise in my cupbOard wen i wake up tmrw...a dark purpLe labucheeeeeeeeee baju kurung wif 5 pieces Of gLamOurOus LOOking buttOns aLL neatLy Lined up in frOnt.....pLz my fairy gOdmOther...if u r Listening...dat wLd be nice...

2004-10-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time
From the day I met you
I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all

2004-10-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: driLLings....cOnstructiOn werx..
feeLn: fresh...

sO..whiLe taking my shOwer..i reaLised dat i'm becOming hOOked On my ciggies.. neva been dat way...i was Owez fagging wen i sOciaLise... nOw itz nOt the case...sO it seems.. itz gettn mOre Of a need..*pOutz*... n diz sux..

On a tOtaLLy different nOte aLtOgeder, the gaLs n i went tO bugis Last nyt tO haf Our dinner... after which we went in search Of a sisha pLace in mahathir's aLfa rOmeO....impressive...hOweva wif 4 peepz cramped in da back seat after a heavy dinner, da idea Of sitting in such a cOOL car did nOt at aLL feeL dat impressive...*pOutz*... aLmajLis was Our first stOp...hOweva we mOved On tO samar cOz the previOus was packed... samar prOvided us wif tOO LOud a music n it was rather an unfamiLiar ambience...sO after sitting dOwn fOr a few minutes...we made an exit w/O Ordering...rushed tO find the nearest cOffeshOp ard which was suLtan cafeteria...juz rOund the cOrner Of samar's cafe... had LOts Of laffter... but hasLin ObviOusLy shOwed signs Of fatigue...pOOr babe...

aLL in aLL....yesterday was anOther sLacking day wen i shLd haf nOt dOne sO... i've gOt tO stOp dOing diz...at Least juz abt fOr anOther a mth Or sO...*pOutz*

2004-10-12T10:23:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: Our fareweLL -within temptatiOn
feeLn: meLanchOLic

...sLacked wif bijik the whOLe afternOOn.. we went tO espLanade n juz sat der frOm 3+ tiLL 6.30 den i had tO Leave fOr cLass which started at 7.. the weather was absOLuteLy briLLiant... neither tOO hOt nOr cOLd... perfect... basicaLLy we tOK abt nan..weLL she tOk abt nan... n i.. i juz Listened...feeLn the ache Of sumOne's brOken heart...

in the case Of sharing sumOne eLse's suffering must at sOme LeveL invOLve a degree Of vOLuntariness which itseLf is indicative Of a certain inner strength...

i reached skOOL a LiL Late as usuaL...it seems tO be a perpetuaL habit nOwadays dat i get tO cLass Late..after cLass...whiLe at the train statiOn i was surprised tO see keLvin cOz he rushed Off quickLy after cLass..aLthO his stOp was OnLy juz a stOp away frOm wer we tOOk....he Offered tO accOmpany me in my train ride aLL da way tO Orchard..sweet~... he caLLed me princess..LOLx..i met bijik Once again in tOwn...OnLy diz tym asri was der... been awhiLe since i Last saw him... LOOking gd as ever... n cheesy...pLus hOrny...he neva faiLs tO tease me abt thgs... Last nyt was nO exceptiOn either... bijik was teasing me abt hOw smaLL i Opened my mOuth wen eating burger weneva she was feeding me...but i rather peeL n eat dem One by One den tO Open my mOuth reaL big in Order tO stuff 3 Layers Of fOOd... severaL tyms asri tried tO feed me tOO wif the mcspicy chicken patty juz tOO see hOw big i Open my mOuth....n i juz Laff it Off n refused tO eat frOm hiz hand... but eventuaLLy he succeeded after anOther attempt... at 11.20pm, we went Our separate ways...

LOts Of Laughters...LOts Of happy tears... i'm OnLy waiting fOr sadness tO cOme... itz Oredi On itz way.. fasting mth is cumming sOOn... den syawaL... dey wiLL aLL remind me Of the past...sO wiLL my berfday... y didn't i Listen tO my Own heart wen itz teLLing me den dat it was neva gOnna Last.... den again..wen LOve is neva gOnna be enuff...diz rOad wiLL be taken aLOne....sO it shaLL be....

2004-10-11T11:22:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: LOud nOise cumming frOm vehicLes at the carpark...
feeLn: grOggy...

sO...itz been a reaL whiLe since i Last put dOwn in werds wOt i haf been dOing..... aLOt had happened... but i juz can't seem tO get the hype abt bLOgging dem dOwn.. i'm juz waiting fOr diz negative feeLn tO evapOrate n i'LL be back tO my nOrmaL seLf... been meetn up aLOt wif bijik nOw dat shez jObLess... met wif nan fOr da first tym since things btwn him n bijik had been happening... i cLdn't heLp but tO juz ignOre his presence weneva hez ard...derz Owez 2 sides tO a stOry...but wOteva he did..it wasn't justified at aLL...i'm sO happy being wif my beLOveds nOwadays...dey keep me satisfied wif Lyf... my dearest bimbO has been in my cOmpany fOr da past few days... meetups r gettn mOre frequent.. i knw dat during diz periOd i'm suppOsed tO haf ziLch sOciaL Lyf...but i can't heLp it.. i juz LOve being wif peepz dat reLi accept me mOre den hOw much i accept myseLf at tymz... mebbe diz feeLn wiLL sOOn subside... tiLL dat happens... i'LL juz haf tO put On a facade dat everythgz gOnna be a-Ok...

2004-10-10T14:50:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: Our farweLL -within temptatiOn
feeLn: LOst...

...hmmm....i can't reLi put dOwn in werds wOt i'm feeLn...disappOintment is shrOuding me... but i knew diz day was gOnna cOme sOOner Or Later... i'm sOrry edy...

2004-10-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell ?

Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on ?
I feel so lost when you are not by my side
But there's nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell ?

Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
'Cause my child
This is not our farewell
This is not our farewell

2004-10-05T17:14:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: best i ever had -verticaL hOrizOn
feeLn: fOrsaken..

...diz sOng reLi reminds me Of sOLi...he used tO sing me diz sOng wen we were aLOne...cried aLOng wif diz sOng...ObviOusLy bOth fOr different reasOns...LOOking back...i wOnder wOt it was abt him dat i've hang On tO fOr sO LOng...tOO LOng wif him wen i cLd haf juz waLked away...but itz aLL dOne n Over wif nOw..itz aLL gOOd..

..tO my beLOved bimbO...cOngrats... *winkz* ...see... better days wLd fOLLOw suit after rainy Ones... ObviOusLy urs has.. i'm tOtaLLy happy fOr u... u'LL haf my LOve... *pOutz*...ahhaah...insyaLLah u'LL be happy wif wOt u haf nOw... *huGGiez*

2004-10-05T17:03:00.000+08:00

2004-10-05T15:17:00.000+08:00

..i'm capabLe Of LOving sumOne...but i dun beLieve anyOne has the capabiLity tO Love me back as much...

2004-09-25T10:29:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: fade tO bLack-metaLLica
feeLn: ...mixed up...

sO...i'm Off tO skOOL Later...yawnz...

hey mus!...u r gay!!...LOLx...everyOne knOws dat... werz fiz urL?...hOw tO add?...takder urL pOn! *pOutz*

sO anywayz..itz 25th sept....HAPPY BERFDAY ZAZA!!!....may gOd bLess u wif aLL da happiness u can find in diz wOrLd...hehehe...One mOre yr tO gO b4 u'LL LOse dat nO '1' in frOnt...sOOn u'LL be as OLd as i am, dude!....*eviL Laff*...muakakakaka...SO ONCE AGAIN...HAPPY 19TH BERFDAY ZAZA....*mmmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiaaaaaccccccckzzzzzz*

2004-09-24T17:31:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: berhenti berharap- sheiLa On 7
feeLn: sOmbre

warning!!!: diz is gOnna be a very...very...VERY LONG POST!

wedneday: in da mOrn we (my famiLy) were aLL shOcked by the news Of my sister in Law being suspected Of having appendicitis...juz a day shOrt Of der due date fOr leaving tO kL...der new hOme...LuckiLy enuff... she was reLeased On da same day as x-rays shOwed Otherwise.. met up wif bijik tO bOOk her finaL theOry...der we met azhar kasman (amOi's ex bf)....waLking beside him was reLi a tOugh jOb fOr a shOrtie Lyk me.. had tO LOOk up tO him LiteraLLy whiLst he tOk...1.89m i tink...haahha... n sO we sat at the driving centre's canteen....and der we met wan dOe (dude frOm airsickpiLOt & useLess espiOnage)... anOther taLL dude...bOy was he super cute!!...hahah... haiz...whiLst its reLi physicaLLy exhausting tO waLk wif juz a reLi taLL dude, itz mind chaLLenging & super...super...SUPER exhausting tO waLk wif 2....azhar Left wif a taxi... wan, bijik n i waLked aLL da way tO jLn tenaga...under da hOt sun...Oh gOsh.. wan was super Lame dat day...wOtz new...ahahaha...sO it wasnt reLi taxing fOr me tO hear his Lame jOkes since i am One myseLf...bijik n i Left fOr tOwn...reached sOmerset... suddenLy we bOth had craving fOr prata... bijik was craving fOr prata kOsOng wif sugar....eeeew...n i was reLi drOOLing fOr prata teLur...ahakz... n sO wif having OnLy Less den 3 bucks each.. we bOth headed Our way tO dat eating pLace juz OppOsite centrepOint...i dunnO wOt itz caLLed..dat eating pLace wer itz actuaLLy part Of a carpark...yea...dat One.. n sO we ate n cursed Our way tru the meaL fOr such an expensive tasteLess pratas n freakn tasteLess teh tarik...n tasteLess genturi ciggies!
LessOn Learnt 1: neva buy a teh tarik frOm a chi staLL...
LessOn Learnt 2: neva be brOke!...at Least try nOt tO!

i Left bijik at sOmerset tO meet baby cOz we were having cLass at newtOn...dat nyt...i tOLd my dad i was reLi craving fOr a prOper prata meaL.. n sO we headed fOr saLihin at tamp...yummy...2 pieces Of egg prata Left me reLi satisfied...Lyk i juz had an Orgasm..LOLx...nO wOnder dey aLL caLL me hOrny...LOLx...picked up russ n famiLy...dey sLept Over at Our pLace...dat nyt...we aLL sLept tOgeder...hidaya, my sis-in-Law, hannah n i at One part Of my parents' rOOm...russ n hakim at the Other...mum n dad On da bed...hahaha...we aLL had tO wake up at 4.30am cOz der fLight was at 6.50...by the tym we aLL settLed dOwn it was Oredi 1.30am... i cLdnt sLeep tiLL it was abt 3.....mOre Of i din wanna sLeep cOz if i did...den it wLd feeL Lyk itz Oredi 4.30 in juz a matter Of secOnds...hugged hannah...aLot dat nyt...haizzz...i'm sO emO..kL is juz 5 hrs away... but juz da tOt dat derz nO mOre Luxury in seeing dem everyday...15mins away Of waLking distance nOw turned tO a 5 hrs drive up jOurney...hmmph...the gOOdbyes at the airpOrt was very shOrt...cOz we were super Late...it was Oredi Last caLL fOr dem...sO juz a LiL hugs n tears Of gdbye...n datz it.. dOne...

thurs: met up wif hery, bijik n nataLia fOr an RA mOvie "seeing Other peOpLe"...wen we reached der we had nO idea dat it was gOnna be freakn hard juz tO get tO LidO!!!...aLL da main entrances were bLOcked by securities...hmmph...we had nO idea wOt the fuss was aLL abt... wen we finaLLy gOt der...i saw mOre securities....n reaLised dat der was gOnna be a premiere Of the new pOLice stOry... sO whO eLse....jackie chan...bLurgh...
LessOn Learnt 1: Learn tO be aware Of the OngOings in da entertainment wOrLd...LOcaL dat is.. sO as tO nOt tO gif urseLf unnecessary chaOs in searching fOr the next avaiLabLe entrance tO dat particuLar pLace wer hOtshOts were gOnna be at....
LessOn Learnt 2: neva trust RA mOvies...super bOring...

...sLacked wif dem at burger king at wheeLOcks...gaLs' nyt Out...ahahha... Left at abt 11...bijik n i sLacked awhiLe behind tamp maLL...bOught ciggies...n a can Of bOOze...hOw weird...LOLx...but we were super brOke...a can din make any diff...i dun even knOw y she had tO buy it... Oh weLL...n tOday...i'm tOO Lazy tO dO anythg...suppOsed tO be studying...but........One can OnLy guess wOtz gOing On inside my head...haahah....

2004-09-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: the rambLings Of my brO n his hse agent
feeLn: nOnchaLant...

*yawnz*...i'm at my brO's pLace ryt nOw...heLping him wif his Last minute packings... dey'LL be On their way On thurs.. hOw sad... tryn nOt tO cOunt the days... sunday's kenduri was a bLast... started Out few peepz juz Lepaking at my hse... den as the hrs went by, sO many peepz had finaLLy arrived...diLa n muna arrived earLy...way b4 hery n cOmpany sO i had ampLe time chatting wif dOz 2... :P finaLLy finished cLeaning up at midnyt....my hands r bOth sOre nOw due tO overscrubing Of pOts n pans... *LOOks at pOOr hands*....*pOutz*...

i'm missing him aLOt diz dayz...wOndering y... as i've juz tOLd hery Last nyt, i finaLLy reaLised dat i dun want anyOne eLse...i juz want him again... ahahha... wishfuL thinking On my part...but heLL, i miss him Lyk heLL....ask me again wOt abt him exactLy dat i'm missing... i'LL give u nO definite answer...itz juz him dat i miss....ahakz..Oh weLL...as the quOte frOm mOvie "Laws Of attractiOn"...pierce brOsnan did mentiOn dat:

"when you love someone you should be unselfish enough to give them whatever they want.."

sO...nOw i'm feeLn rather sLeepy...*yawnz*.... need my ciggies... been awhiLe since i Last had any... sunday tO be exact... but i din get tO savOur One whOLe ciggy as tOO many Of my reLatives were gOing up n dOwn the bLk...*pOutz*...

2004-09-17T14:20:00.000+08:00

y dOes everyOne tink dat he was Leaning On my bOObs?...LOLx.. *muiackz*

memOries r great OnLy wen u want dem tO be.... :)

2004-09-16T14:23:00.000+08:00

ku dikejar bayang-bayang resah
biLa hatimu masih tak berubah
enggan dipunya dan dipenjara
beLaian cintaku ini

aku bukan LeLaki yang tewas
bisa mengambang waLau ku ditoLak
biar diuji kanan dan kiri
kau kan tetap ku miLiki

janganLah kau saLahkan aku
terus memburu menawan cintamu
daku percaya sedikit masa
kau kecundang akhirnya

usahLah kau bersedih
dihadapanmu aku hadir
memadam resah dan curiga dari hatimu
apakah kaLi ini
bisa kau toLak dan berLari
seteLah aku menanamkan azimatku

tiada Lafaz yang Lebih agung
kaLimah cintamu
yang ku tunggu-tunggu
biar jasadku yang menanggung
permainan darimu
reLa ku pujuk...

..reLa ku pujuk -spider

2004-09-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

...geyLang's wet market has neva LOOKed sO appeaLing.... the fish mOngers reLi impressed me wif their skiLLs n knives... the butchers cOrner made me gagged a LiL... Livers n aLL... eeeeeeeeeew... big mistake was dat we had breakfast b4 we went intO da market.. sO i nearLy chOked myseLf wif my Own gag... haha... but i reLi enjOyed myseLf der, watching my mum sOciaLised wif her frenz der whO are seLLers... One tip.. dun gO tO a wet market wif ur best pants...unfOrtunateLy fOr me...yrs Of nOt gOing tO a wet market has Left me senseLess Of wOt tO wear n wOt nOts.. nOw, i'm Left wif a Lingering fishy smeLL On my new ankLe pants...Oh bOy...

...made a few bLunders in naming certain fish der...ahahha... LuckiLy enuff fOr me, my mistake went unnOticed...

2004-09-16T07:39:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: reLaku pujuk -spider
feeLn: sLeepy...excited nOnetheLess...

sO...i'm actuaLi gettn ready tO gO tO da wet market...yupz....me....wet market... smeLLy fishy smeLL... here i cOme.....smeLLy fishy smeLL??...LOLx... dOes dat even make sense?...Oh weLL...

2004-09-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: mungkinkah -stinky
feeLn: undefined shitty feeLn

diz pic makes me haf rabbit teeth....ahakz...

sO...been awhiLe...spike died...wOt an ending tO da buffy seasOn...frenz came tO an end Last nyt.. i paid 8.50 tO watch chaLize therOn make Out wif christina ricci in the RA mOvie mOnster and centraL actuaLLy shOwed sOme fOOtage Of dem making Out in dat mOvie...haizzz...

we haf nO future tOgeder....

same shit different day...heard dat phrase fOr da upteenth tym... nieway...thanx dude... better Luck fOr u next tym... mebbe i shLd say better Luck fOr me next tym rOund... Oh weLL... *skips ard*

went Out wif amOi, bijik, hery, esah, hasLin n 2 Of esah's frenz da Other day.... aLL gaLs nyt Out... amOi is sO pretty...hehehe... shez Owez been... but eva since becOming a stewardess, she has been LOOking stunning.... n shez wif a new dude nOw...finaLLy!!!... happy fOr my fren~...

sO i'm having a kenduri diz sun... On my List r:

hery & rudy
hasLin & jeff
harun
diLa
muna
keLvin
shadiq

haahaha....aini n amOi can't make it....werkn... *pOutz* ....hOw dO i actuaLLy treat diz peepz wen dey arrive?...i'm sO nOt a gd hOstess(?) ... ahakz...dat thanxgiving party is fOr my brO n his famiLy whO wiLL be Leaving fOr kL On 22nd Of diz mth... settLing dOwn der fOr a few yrs i guez... Oh weLL... itz nOt dat far ryt... Once i'm wif a car..i'LL drive dOwn der aLmOst every wkend...aLmOst...yupz...datz the werd...aLmOst...

2004-09-07T09:28:00.000+08:00

You have taken the heart of me and left just a part of me
Look, look, look what you've done.
Well, you took all the best of me, so come get the rest of me
Look back, finish what you've begun

Be done.

There is someone you ought to meet, it's Me, Mister Incomplete
Look at what I've become
For it's due to the lack of you that I'm now only half of two
Look back, finish what you've begun

Be done.

Come and sit by my side, where there's nothing to hide
And we'll try to decide what you've needed.
But from where I stand today, I can't think of a way
Or the words that I might say that could change your mind
And make you stay, oh no, not for all the times I've pleaded...

Look, look, look, look what you've done.
You have taken the best of me, so come get the rest of me
Look back, finish what you've begun

Be done. Oh, be done, be done.

2004-09-06T16:44:00.000+08:00

juz wen i'm trying tO give a piece Of my heart tO sumOne...i juz had tO find sumthg which makes me tink twice abt juz giving my aLL tO dat certain sumOne..... *sighz* ....sO much fOr cLaiming dat u dun tOk tO any Other gaLz except fOr me n ur bandmate's gf..... caLL me queen cOntrOL ...caLL me wOteva.... but if u can tOk tO juz abt any Other gaLs wif dat kinda tOne in ur vOice....den i guez dat dOesn't put me much at the tOp in ur List...if i was eva der tO begin wif... it may be juz an accusatiOn On y part but it aLsO might be da truth....pOint is...i'm nOt bLind...i'm nOt deaf...neither am i stupid....mebbe i suck at being a gf....u tOLd me urseLf... thanx aLOt....

2004-09-06T10:03:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: aLL cried Out-aLLure
feeLn:...a LiL scared...

sO...Last fri i was at my brO's pLace...tOtaLLy rOcked... we heLped him thrOw away sOme HUGE stuffs Out...Like his aquarium...n the cupbOard which came aLOng wif it...free LabOur i caLLed it...asking 2 gaLs tO heLp him carry dat big heavy things up da staircase.... freakn cheap LabOur...nOnetheLess...it rOcked...ahhah...fun.. dat nyt...instead Of sLeepn...i feLt der was a need fOr me tO haf a mOvie marathOn since hez gOing Off sOOn...sO after watching 50 first dates.... i went fOr the big kiLL....the GODFATHER triLOgy.... ahakz...aL pacinO has neva LOOked sO sexy b4!!!!... he is gOrgeOus... wOw!!...mebbe i shLd change my name tO Lidya cOrLeOne...hahaha...hOwever...my gOaL Of achieving tO watch da triLOgy was unsuccessfuL aLL bcOz it was Oredi 6am wen i was haLfway watching GODFATHER part 2, my eyes gave up On me...part 2 was reLi draggy n bOring...but i juz had tO watch it in Order tO reach part 3... wer his daughter wiLL faLL in LOve wif andy garcia....n den die.... haizzz...i've watch it b4....but dat was wen i was smaLL... :P

sO...On sat...my sis daya went On a picnic wif 2 Of her frenz...shit happened... dey Lost der bags... actuaLLy mOre Lyk stOLen frOm dem....dey were bz swimming...ahakz...Left dem unattended.... n pOOf! gOne juz Lyk dat... inside she Lost:

aLL her credit cards..
her camera
her iriver mp3
her nike watch
nike bag
cash $30

hmmm... in aLL...mOre den 1000 bucks wOrth Of vaLuabLes...haizz... da mp3...*heart cracks* damn dOz thieves....hmmph...!

sO...nuthn much... nOw i'm here...On mOnday mOrning... scaring da shit Outta myseLf cOz examz r Lyk sO freakn near...n i juz wasted Last nyt cOz i feeL asLeep whiLe tryn tO read sOme gp stuffs....LOLx....

sumOne gaf me a pLeasant sms Last nyt....*muiackz*.....been awhiLe...it was reLi great tO juz haf dat sms... made me smiLe in my sLeep....

2004-09-03T19:39:00.000+08:00

Listening tO: shape Of my heart-sting
feeLn: hOt....sweaty...

sO...i'm at my brO's pLace ryt nOw...yes mus...brO's pLace n nOt sumwer eLse...suppOsed tO be heLping him wif packing his things cOz he'z migrating tO kL sOOn....haizzz....hez Leaving....sO is hakim...my babybOy...Ok... i'm gOnna end Off here... missing my baby...wOnder wOt happened tO him... haven't actuaLLy tOk tO him fOr Lyk 2 days... baby cOme back frOm tekOng!!!!!!!!!.... hmmmph!

2004-09-02T14:55:00.000+08:00

Listening tO:near me aLways -jeweL
feeLn: ...tinge Of sadness inside...

"..juz bcOz sOmeOne dOesn't LOve u da way u want dem tO dOesn't mean dat dey dOn't/didn't LOve u wif aLL dey haf... if sOmeOne cOmes intO ur Lyf n becOmes a part Of u but fOr sOme reasOns he cOuLdn't stay, dOn't cry tOO much... Juz be gLad dat ur paths crOssed n..sOmehOw he made u happy even fOr a whiLe... da greatest regrets in Our Lives are da risks we did nOt take.If u think sOmething wiLL make you happy, GO FOR IT... remember dat we pass diz way OnLy Once... "

...ripped diz Off frOm an emaiL dat i received....*pOutz*... reminded me Of aLL da peOpLe dat had came intO my Lyf n went juz Lyk dat... dey strOLLed in... but Owez Left in a hurry... u can neva fOrce anyOne tO stay wer dey dO nOt wanna be... best ting...Let dem gO happiLy...

b...dun LOve me juz cOz i LOve u....LOve me cOz u LOve me... juz becOz i've neva said dOz 3 werds tO u verbaLLy...dOesn't mean i dun care...werds r juz werds... i can teLL u dOz 3 werds dat u wanted tO hear sO very much but if dey dun mean a ting frOm me.....den dOz werds wiLL juz be Left wif nO vaLue... n juz becOz i've neva expressed my feeLns verbaLLy...dOesn't mean i haf nOne Of dem inside... tym wiLL teLL...sOOner Or Later u wiLL knOw... but whether Or nOt u wiLL stiLL be der tO hear dOz werds... itz entireLy up tO u....