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Sunday, April 16, 2006
...wOw...reLi had been a great whiLe...hur hur hur...actuaLLy nuthin much had been gOing On...juz d nOrmaL i suppOse...nO majOr events in my Lyf dat had happened...bOringnye hidup ku ini~~~~....LOLx Wednesday, December 28, 2005
gOsh..hOw fast hOLidays end...sOOn itz back tO skOOL...the LuxuriOus priviLedge we aLL had been given Once in skOOL wLd nO LOnger exist cOme 3rd Jan...they haf banned smOking everywer ard the skOOL campus...*pOutz*....juz d tOt Of having tO smOke at d bus stOp is Oredi making me cry.. On a tOtaL different nOte aLtOgeder, itz funny hOw wen u r in LOve wif sumOne, u'LL actuaLLy surprise urseLf (Or nOt) wif the amt Of sacrifice dat u'LL be abLe tO end up dOing fOr dat certain persOn...hOwever, shLd tings refuse tO gO hOw YOU wanted it tO, den aLL demOns be unLeashed (in diz case, unLeash d dragOn aLa sisqO)...i'm nOt taLking abt me thO...hur hur hur... itz her...dat psychOtic Lady whO gOes by d name Of racheL....LOLx...datz nOt exactLy her name...but i can't reLi pubLicise it nOw can i?...dat wLd be unethicaL...*rOLLs eyes*.... the chOice Of vOcab dat she used On me is reLi making me stereOtype her as wOt kinda persOn she is...first bitch...nOw mOrOn...pLus a few mOre Others Lyk psychO...fOrgive me fOr being a typicaL individuaL here but when a persOn is cOvered frOm head tO tOe due tO reLigiOus requirements (senang kata pakai tudung La!), she is expected tO be weLL-natured n behave in a certain manner tO uphOLd her wOmanLy virtue since she is aLL cOvered up...wearing hijab means OnLy One Of ur aurat is cOvered...Our mOuth n ears are aLsO part Of aurat...sO wen a Lady is cOvered up in hijab, i (yes, i!!) wLd expect her tO uphOLd her manners in taLking as dat tOO wLd be cOnsidered as aurat aLOngside wif her wearing Of dat hijab...it gOes hand in hand...in d first pLace, being weLL-mannered shLd Oredi be instiLLed within us...but i suppOse dat tOO, is sOmethg hard fOr her tO dO...n yes, i am being very judgementaL here...i apOLOgise tO aLL dOz Ladies whO wear a hijab...regardLess Of whether a Lady wears hijab Or nOt, she is Oredi expected tO behave n taLk in a certain manner but Of cOz is muchLy emphasized upOn wen she is wearing One...kan kan kan One way Or the Other, itz OnLy human tO actuaLLy haf dark tOts Of sumOne dat we dun Lyk Or be judgementaL tOwards them...the difference between us individuaLs is dat u can chOOse tO put On a facade n neva Let Others knOw ur true bad tOts n feeLings (eg: the kinda names dat u'Ld Love tO caLL dem Or juz pLain fOuL vOcab tO be used On dem) tOwards dat individuaL juz sO u wLdn't be perceived as a bad persOn n thus be hypocriticaL abt it...Or u can chOOse tO Let peOpLe knOw wOt kinda persOn u reLi are inside...if u r gOOd inside, then aLL be weLL...if u aren't...den racheL is wOt u be wLd becOme...whO is diz racheL n wOt has she dOne? ....nah...i'm nOt Lyk her...sO i wun gO ard bitching much abt her...i mean i Oredi started a LiL...but i wun gO intO d detaiLs here....sO caLL me...:) Thursday, December 22, 2005
...i Lyk diz sLOwer versiOn Of d sOng...d One by bryan adams is a LiL tOO LiveLy.. n sO is d Other One sung aLsO by dj sammy ..diz versiOn hOwever is much mOre rOmantic...haizzz... been in cOntact wif haLim Once again..it had been a LOng whiLe since i Last kept in tOuch wif him...aLmOst a yr..diz dayz, it dOesn't bring me much excitement tO tOk tO guys...Often wLd aLsO be d case as i wLd duck away frOm any invitatiOns tO gO Out wif dem..but d excitement wLd OnLy b feLt wen i'm Out wif switcheekz...sumtymz i wOnder if i were tO juz Leave, wLd my absence be affecting him in any way...sOOner Or Later, dat wLd be answered... thinking abt Our yOunger years there was OnLy u and me we were yOung and wiLd and free nOw, nOthing can take u away frOm me we've been dOwn that rOad befOre but that's Over nOw u keep me cOming back fOr mOre cause baby,u're aLL that i want wen u're Lying here in my arms i'm finding it hard tO beLieve we're in heaven and LOve is aLL that i need and i fOund it there in your heart it isn't tOO hard tO see we're in heaven Once in ur Life u find sOmeone whO wiLL turn ur wOrLd arOund pick u up wen u're feeLing dOwn nOw, nOthing can change what u mean tO me there's a LOt that i cOuLd say but just hOLd me nOw cause Our LOve wiLL Light the way i've been waiting fOr sO LOng fOr sOmething tO arrive fOr LOve tO cOme aLOng nOw Our dreams are cOming true thrOugh the gOOd times and the bad i'LL be standing there by u heaven, dj sammy Monday, December 19, 2005
...finaLLy i'm Oredi 25...but wOt a drag..cOZ nOw, as many haf wished me, i'm Oredi 1/4 Of a century...haha... but again itz juz a nO.. wOt matters mOst is hOw One feeLs inside...ryt...keep On pacifying myseLf dat way...nOnetheLess, my berfday was ceLebrated wif my bestest- ima and naz...it had been sO LOng since d 3 Of us actuaLLy went Out tOgeder...haha...16th dec...i feLt sO princess-y!!!...mcm bapak aku cap duit...ahakz... Oh hOw naz n ima pampered me...fOr Once...wOt dey've Owez said abt me was true!!..i was indeed a brat fOr dat day!! but hey...itz nOt Lyk everyday i get tO shOp Like a shOppahOLic...i may be pampered...but i'm nOt spOiLt... i dun Own many LuxuriOus stuffs...n dOz dat i dO, are very much appreciated...bersyukur wif wOt u haf....wOrk hard fOr dOz u dun.. anyhOwz, sat was spent wif switcheekz...even thO d mOment he arrived, his mOOd wasn't wOt i had anticipated, he made it up fOr it afterwards... again...anOther day Of shOpping...but nOt fOr me.. instead...HIM! n it was suppOsed tO be my berfday (weLL technicaLLy it stiLL was my berfday!..my berfday is 30 days LOng!)...HAH! bOught his hp...n went tO haf dinner at swensenz...hur hur hur... i LOve berfdays...*gLOats*....his shOpping din stOp just der thO...next hunt was fOr his sOccer cOurt shOes...unfOrtunateLy fOr him...aLL Of dOz shOes dat he wanted were Out Of stOck..weLL at Least fOr his size...a pity...hur hur hur... sun was d mOst unexpected..he had swimming in mind...but swimming wasn't wOt we ended up dOing.....hmm... after meeting up at bedOk at 4pm...we decided tO take d bus...i din knOw wer we were gOing fOr HIS swim...sO i suggested we take bus nO 31 Or prOLLy d train tO get tO east cOast...but nOOO...he wLdn't want tO...cOz datz nOt wer he had intended On gOing...sO we tOOk bus nO 30... n suddenLy we were On d way tO sentOsa...sentOsa!!!... pukuL brapa nak sampai!...pukuL brapa nak swim!!...pukuL brapa nak BALIK!!!!.....hahaha...d weather was pLaying tricks On us...it was dark n cLOudy...rained a LiL whiLe we were in d bus...sO he suggested we bOard Off at bOOn Lay int n take anOther bus tO queensway shOpping centre instead...n sO dat was d back-up pLan... Or sO we tOt... hOwever, diz 2 dufus did take anOther bus frOm bOOn Lay but feLL asLeep in d bus n ended up aLL d way in bukit merah bus terminaL...*pOutz*...sO again...pLan nO werk....next pLan up....gO eat at a nearby fOOd market at bukit merah...Ok!!... but d pLace dat switcheekz used tO (nOtice dat itz USED TO!) frequent was quite a distance away...n sO we waLked...n we waLked...n upOn reaching...:) the pLace was under renOvatiOn... by then it was Oredi 8pm...Oh weLL...anOther wise pLan dOwn d drain...n it didn't even rain heaviLy!!!!...cLdn't find any trains nearby, we tOOk 197 aLL d way tO bedOk n ended up having a Late dinner at the interchange...ryt wer we had started frOm the very beginning!...sO sunday was aLL abt bus rides... hOw interesting! Wednesday, December 14, 2005
...certain stains can't be remOved at Once..nO matter after hOw many washings, they're stiLL der..fader...but stiLL der..hOweva sumtymz the stains dO disappear eventuaLLy..but Over tym...Over a LOng periOd Of tym... Lyk stains, certain remarks can't be taken back...Once deLivered, be it bad Or gOOd, wiLL haf cOnsequences tO d One perceiving it... it happens aLL d tym...datz y we caLL it Lyf...sumtymz we Let Our emOtiOns take charge rather than Our brain..after which sumtymz we Let the phrase tO err is human pacify us...mOst Of the tymz wen we used Our emOtiOns instead Of Our brain, Otherz wLd simpLy say y cLdn't u haf used ur brain?.... n wen fOr the tymz wen we did use Our gOd-gifted brains instead Of the fOrmer..the repLied we get wLd sumtymz be hOw cLd u be sO heartLess n emOtiOnLess?...remarks made nO matter hOw insignificant it might seem...dO haf a sLight impact... after aLL d drama abt dat previOus entry made by her, she did apOLOgise cOz she was emOtiOnaL wen passing such remarks...but then ...remarks had been deLivered... damage has been dOne...sLight remark made...big damage dOne...fOrgive n fOrget...datz wOt dey say...yup...datz wOt dey say... cOz afteraLL... tO err is human...and i....i am OnLy human...n my err is nOt tO be abLe tO fOrgive n fOrget... Wednesday, December 07, 2005
whO decides wOt is a nOrm n wOt isn't...? is it becOz generatiOns b4 them have set a certain mindset tO wOt is apprOved n wOt isn't? wen sumthg which passes way beyOnd their nOrmaL acceptance, whO gets tO decide Or judge wOt is ryt Or wrOng....Or hOw it shLd be dOne... being myseLf, sumOne whOm mOst in d society tink i dOn't deserve tO get wOt i want...juz becOz Of my physicaL OutLOOk...i sumtymz wOnder if it is instiLLed within us tO be superficiaL abt hOw we sumtymz LOOk at tings... fOr exampLe, as a mOther, One wLd sympathize seeing a disabLed gaL...she wLd passes Off cOmments dat wLd put herseLf On d pedestaL by Otherz...dat wLd make her sumOne fiLLed wif empathy n sympathy...but if One day her sOn were tO cOme tO her n teLL her Of his intentiOns tO marry d same disabLed gaL, wLd she present d same kinda empathy tOwards d situatiOn? i feLt dat wif a fOrmer bf's mum...it wasn't d best feeLing at aLL... shaLLOw as it seems, itz d truth...d nOrm in Our society... i wLdn't say dat everyOne wLd cOnfine demseLves tO diz setz Of standards set by Our fOrefathers On wOt is sociaLLy ryt n wOt is stigmatised...but very sO Often we find OurseLves bitching abt Other peOpLe cOz tings dat aren't the nOrm is being dOne by them... i was Out wif switcheekz juz the Other tym..we went tO simpang cOz i was hungry fOr prata... whiLe waiting fOr d bus On Our way hOme, an eLderLy waLked pass us n den made a U-turn tO waLk pass us again...diz tym i cLd see dat her eyes were fiLLed wif unspOken anger...i had a LiL rOugh idea Of whO she was...but didn't pay much attentiOn tO her... next day, whiLe surfing the net n being d inquisitive me, i went tO d eLderLy's daughter's bLog...true enuff there was a pOrtiOn dedicated tO me (indirectLy)... after describing hOw i LOOked Lyk, itz mentiOned abt her mOther's disapprOvaL Of my presence wif switcheekz and hence dat LOOk dat was given tO me.. the remark dat disturbed me the mOst was dat made by her mum "...is he bLind..?" ... he can dO better... an eLderLy whO chOse tO deLiver such cOmments made me reaLise it is afteraLL d mindset in diz society dat peOpLe whO Lack nOrmaL physicaL appearance is nOt wOrth Of achieving happiness...becOz cOmpared tO her daughter, i din even cOme cLOse.. but whO was she tO judge dat i dun deserve such priviLedges Of spending tym wif him...is it becOz she had hOped he wLd be d perfect match fOr her daughter...it saddens me becOz whiLe defending her Own daughter's happiness, she pOtrayed herseLf to b superficiaL n shaLLOw..is it a nOrm in diz sOciety to pass judgement, dat peOpLe whO Lack abiLities Of any sOrt Or whO dOn't haf much physicaL attributes dat wLd measure up tO a nOrmaL-LOOking individuaL, dOn't deserve happiness Or satisfactiOn Of any kind? is it a nOrm dat peOpLe Lyk me tO juz sit at hOme n neva tO cOme Out cOz i wLd be a sOre tO the eyes Of nOrmaL-LOOking peOpLe? karma... juz a harmLess wOrd...but wif a great impact Once hit upOn wif.. |
-=the fOrLorn seLf=- -=my wOrLd=- =-bLack-= =-poetry-= -=LL dat i want=- =-new hairdO-= -=i read=- ::diLLah:: ::winda:: ::sOfyn:: ::muna:: ::shazLyn:: -=whispers=- shOut tO me!
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